


Can't Find My Way Home

by WandaRavenBlack



Series: Road to Crisis on Infinite Earths [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: Brothers, Dark Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Dick Grayson is Renegade, Kidnapping, Murder, Obsession, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 23:35:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21127103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WandaRavenBlack/pseuds/WandaRavenBlack
Summary: EARTH 27 - Bruce, the boys, Justice LeagueEARTH 28 - Renegade, Batman!JasonBruce and the boys get called to the Watchtower when a portal opens there. A man from another dimension comes through and tells a tale almost too horrible to believe.





	1. Portal

Bruce was doing his best to filter out all the noise in the cave and concentrate on the files in front of him, but it wasn’t easy. To his right, Damian seemed to be completely set on destroying the punching bag, no doubt imagining that it was Jason’s face. To his left, Tim was clicking away on his computer at an almost alarming speed. Somewhere behind him, Dick and Jason were leading a heated conversation about their motorcycles. In the corner, Alfred was taking care of Bat-Cow, the animal mooing from time to time. Alfred the cat was curled up under his chair, purring with content while Titus was running back and forth between Damian and Dick, trying to get their attention. Sometimes, he missed the days before he adopted Dick, when the cave would be calm and quiet. But then, almost immediately, he would think that there was no way he was going to exchange this chaos for anything in the world. These four boys had made the cave into something resembling a home, from Dick’s clothes strewn around the changing area, although Damian was just as guilty of those since he almost always stole Dick’s clothes, to Tim’s coffee mugs, Jason’s gadgets, Damian’s knives and the animals fur. It was far from the dark, gloomy cave it had once been. He was pulled out of his thoughts by an incoming call. 

“Jason! Dick! I have to take a call. Could you two quiet down a bit? And that goes for you too, Damian.” 

The boys quieted and stepped a bit closer to the chair while he answered. Diana’s face appeared on the screen and it was clear that she was very worried about something. 

“Bruce? We need you and the boys to come to the Watchtower immediately.” 

That statement finally managed to pull Tim away from his computer. Bruce frowned. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Diana hesitated for a moment, before she answered more calmly. 

“Around twenty minutes ago, a portal suddenly opened in the middle of our conference room. A masked man stepped out. Average height, well built, black suit with a red bird on his chest and back. His mask covered the upper half of his face but not his hair. He seemed disoriented in the beginning so we didn’t attack. Clark tried to talk to him, but he just said ‘I knew that it would end like this’ and then attacked. Bruce, he attacked Clark head on and almost overpowered him. Clark had to use his superstrength to stop him and even then he managed to escape. He fought his way through the corridors. In the end, Barry managed to lure him into a room and lock him in there, while he himself phased out. Soon as he knew he was trapped, he just sat down on the ground and started playing with one of his knives.” 

Bruce was already on his feet, pulling the cowl on when Dick spoke up. 

“You said that we should all get there. Is there something more that you’re not saying, Diana?” 

The Bat turned towards the monitor again and it was clear that Diana was hesitating for a moment, before she nodded. 

“Before we managed to trap him, he ran into Oliver and asked him if Bruce was still the Bat. And where Jason and Dick were. Somehow, he knows about your identities. That’s why we decided to contact all of you.” 

Bruce nodded. 

“Suit up.” 

Dick, Damian and Tim rushed over to where their suits were while Jason glanced over to his helmet. He had came in just ten minutes prior to Diana’s call and was still in his suit. Seeing his glance, Diana nodded. 

“You should come too, Jason. If he knows that you are alive, we might need your assistance. And, because of the circumstances, we will allow you into the Watchtower without any threat of being captured.” 

He nodded and quickly put the helmet on, at the same time as the three boys came running back with their suits on. Bruce almost rolled his eyes. This was most probably their record of the fastest suit up. He activated the Zeta-tube and nodded to Diana. Together, they stepped through it, and came out in the Watchtower. Diana, Clark and Oliver were waiting for them and it was clear that they were relieved when they saw Bruce. 

“Who else is here?” 

Clark rolled his eyes slightly at Bruce’s tone. 

“Except for me, Oliver and Diana, the only people here are Barry and J’onn. They are watching our unexpected guest.” 

They led the Bat family to the control room, where Barry and J’onn were watching a big monitor. 

“Any changes?” 

Barry shook his head. On the screen they saw the man Diana had told them about. He seemed calm, almost bored by the fact that he was captured. Dick turned to Clark. 

“Can you see who he is?” 

The man shook his head. 

“No. I can’t see past his mask. It seems to be the same material that Bruce uses on all your masks.” 

“And the portal?” 

“Disappeared as soon as he was tossed through.” 

Jason tilted his head at that. 

“Tossed through? Diana said that he stepped out.” 

Barry rolled his eyes. 

“He pretty much flew through it. Managed to catch himself in time to not crash into the table, but it didn’t seem like he had expected it.” 

Bruce was opening his mouth to ask something more, when a blue portal suddenly appeared. They all got into fighting positions, only to jump back when a black figure flew through the portal and slammed into the wall. Immediately after he had passed through it, the portal closed and disappeared. They all turned to the man who, to their shock, was clothed in the Batsuit. He picked himself up heavily and sighed. 

“That was not how I expected it to go.” 

Then he looked up at them and froze when he noticed Bruce. 

“You… Shit. You’re Bruce?” 

The man stared at him for a long moment, before nodding slightly. The other man seemed to relax at that. He looked around and his eyes widened when he noticed the rest of them. 

“Shit. You’re all… Wait a second. If you’re still Batman and Dick is Nightwing… Did I go back in time? No. It can’t be. He’s not that crazy. Alternative universe? More likely.” 

He sighed and looked at Bruce again. 

“Alright. My best guess is that I’m from an alternative universe. A much darker universe, if you’re all still alive here. Now my question is…” 

He stopped in shock when he noticed the screen behind them. Everyone glaced to where the man was still sitting down, flipping his knife. 

“You managed to capture him?” 

Everyone’s eyes turned back to him. 

“You know him?” 

Very slowly the Bat nodded. 

“Yeah. He’s the reason I’m here. We call him Renegade. He’s a mercenary. Best one in my universe. Who holds the title here?” 

Dick made an annoyed face. 

“Deathstroke.” 

The Bat tilted his head slightly. 

“Oh. So he’s around here too. Well, Renegade trained under Deathstroke for quite some time, before he killed him and went on a killing spree. At times, we actually wished for Slade to come back. He was a mercenary, but he only killed the ones who he had a contract on. Renegade is different. But back to the important part. We haven’t been able to pinpoint where he was staying, until around half an hour ago. A big flare of power appeared and we found his house. I managed to retrace his steps and that’s how I got here.” 

Damian took a step closer to him, Dick twitching slightly at that. 

“Why did he train under Deathstroke, if he hated him enough to kill him?” 

The Bat sighed. 

“Renegade hasn’t always been bad. He was different before. A real hero. Then he lost his family. And with it, he lost his entire world. He wanted revenge. And the only person who could teach him how to get it was Slade.” 

He turned back to Bruce. 

“Let me talk to him. This isn’t our world and he needs to understand that, before he starts killing people here too.” 

Bruce stood up straighter. 

“And why should we trust you? How do we know that this isn’t just some kind of trick to get him out of there?” 

For a moment, the two men were just staring at each other. Then, the Bat nodded and slowly pulled the cowl back. Everyone in the room shifted with surprise when they saw the white strip of hair and blue eyes of Jason Todd. 


	2. I'll Tell You

“Holy crap.” 

Red Hood, pulled his mask off and shook his head. 

“How the hell did I end up being Batman in your universe?” 

Jason shook his head with sadness. 

“You… I was the only one left. With Tim and Damian dead, I was the only one who could do it. And Gotham needed Batman. Especially then. Shortly before Bruce died, I had talked with him. We came to an understanding. I forgave him.” 

Damian frowned. 

“What about Richard?” 

He seemed to be completely unbothered by the fact that he was dead in the other universe. Jason shook his head. 

“Dick couldn’t do it. Now. Will you let me talk to him?”

Diana nodded. 

“Of course. It’s through that door.” 

Jason nodded and walked over to it. Right before he opened it, he took a deep breath and pulled the cowl back on. Then he stepped through. They all turned to the monitor, only to see the knife flying towards the Bat. He easily side stepped it and shook his head. 

“It’s me.” 

Renegade stood up slowly and tilted his head. 

“What are you doing here?”

His voice was raspy and almost emotionless. Jason huffed out an irritated breath. 

“What am I doing here? The real question is what are you doing? In general. What are you planning?” 

The mercenary smiled softly. 

“You can drop the tone. You’re not Bruce and you’ll never be. And I guess that’s in your favor. If you were anything like him, I wouldn’t have let you live. Now, how did you get here?” 

“Through the portal in your house.” 

They saw how Renegade froze, before moving towards Jason with shocking speed. The Bat exchanged a few blows with him, before they moved back to opposite sides of the room. 

“You found my house?” 

Jason nodded. 

“Yeah. That energy spike really helped us. We found it and looked around a bit.” 

“We as in who?” 

A headshake was all the answer he got to that question. 

“We’re in an alternative universe now. Bruce is still Batman. Tim and Damian are alive. Everyone you killed seems to be alive. And I’d like to keep it that way.” 

And, when he didn’t get any answer, he continued. 

“Listen. What you do once we get back is up to you. If you want to go on as before or if you want to surrender to the League, it’s all your choice. But promise me that you will not do anything stupid here. And that means no killing, no torturing, no revenge for something that happened on our world. Understand?” 

After a few seconds, Renegade nodded. 

“Yeah. Alright.” 

Jason turned towards the door, before glancing back at the mercenary. 

“And try to not act like a jerk.” 

Clark and Barry exchanged surprised looks at the easy way he had said it. Renegade just smirked. 

“You can open the door. It’s alright.” 

Clark opened the door and Jason stepped through, pulling his cowl back again. Renegade followed him, pulling his knife out of the door. He looked around the room and his eyes narrowed when he saw Bruce. 

“Well, well, well. The original Bat.” 

He let his eyes sweep over Tim and Jason, only to freeze when he saw Damian. 

“You…” 

Then he shook his head and turned to his Jason. 

“How do we get back?” 

Jason sighed. 

“We’ll have to figure it out from this side. Whatever you did to them, you overloaded their powers. They managed to get it together to let me pass through, but that’s it.” 

Renegade turned to where J’onn was standing, only to roll his eyes when Jason growled. 

“No. We’ll figure it out some way. But not YOUR way.” 

Diana, who had been watching their exchange, asked calmly. 

“Renegade? Can you tell us your name?” 

The two men exchanged looks, before Jason shrugged. 

“That’s up to you. I didn’t tell them anything.” 

Clark stepped a bit closer to them, careful about not seeming too threatening. 

“We will not force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

Renegade turned his head to him and took a deep breath. When he spoke up, his voice was slightly softer than before, but there was still the rasp in it and Bruce wondered if it was natural or if it was the result of some kind of injury. 

“Your death is one of the few I regret.” 

Then the softness disappeared. 

“But I gave you a choice. You could step aside. For the sake of what you’ve done for me, I was going to spare you.” 

Clark was slightly shocked, while Jason frowned. 

“I didn’t know that…” 

Renegade spun back to him. 

“That what? That I was still capable of stopping myself from killing? I am. I don’t kill the innocent.” 

Sudden anger appeared on Jason’s face. 

“You don’t kill the innocent?! Then why don’t you enlighten me what Connor, Artemis and Hal were guilty of?! What was WALLY guilty of?!” 

At the last name, Dick suddenly drew his Escrima sticks. 

“You killed Wally?” 

There was so much anger in his voice, that Red Hood quickly grabbed his arm, holding him back from attacking the mercenary. Renegade looked at him for a long moment, before he suddenly lifted his hands to his face and pulled back the mask. Everyone found themselves in various states of shock when they saw Dick Grayson’s tired eyes appear. 

“Yes. I killed Wally.” 

Hood’s hand tightened on Dick’s arm while Bruce spoke up, wanting to draw the mercenary's attention away from his oldest son. 

“Why?” 

He managed to keep his voice calm, but that seemed to just piss Renegade off. 

“You want to know why?! After everything that happened you…!” 

“Renegade.” 

He turned towards Jason. 

“Remember that they are not from our earth. He doesn’t know anything about what happened.” 

Quickly, Renegade seemed to collect himself. He nodded slightly and said, with a calmer voice. 

“You want to know how it all happened? Fine. I’ll tell you.” 

Jason looked around and frowned. 

“We might want to sit down for this. It’s not exactly a short story.” 

Diana nodded. 

“Of course. Let’s go to the lounge.” 

Bruce nodded and, with one last look at Renegade, he marched out of the room. Tim followed him quickly. Damian grabbed Dick’s other arm and, together with Red Hood, led him out of the room. Oliver shrugged slightly and followed them. Renegade glanced back to Jason and the man nodded at him. 

“Let’s go.” 

And, without another word, he walked out. Renegade sighed deeply, before he turned towards Diana. 

“It’s nice to see you without us trying to kill each other.” 

And he followed Jason, the others walking after him. They got to the lounge and Renegade sat down on one of the armchairs. Damian, Dick, Red Hood and Tim were all on one couch. Clark went to sit down next to Bruce on a couch, Oliver and Barry taking another one. Diana sat down on Clark’s other side, while J’onn slowly sat down next to Jason. The man grinned at him, before turning back to Renegade. 

“Alright. Why don’t you tell them what happened, and I’ll fill in if you forget anything.” 

Renegade nodded and pulled a hand through his hair. When he started talking, his voice was once again emotionless almost as if he was talking about the weather. 

“It all started when I was 15 and leading Teen Titans. Slade Wilson took an interest in me. He blackmailed me into being his apprentice. I stayed with him for about a week, before the Titans figured everything out and got me away from him.” 

Bruce lifted his hand up. 

“Wait a second. Dick. Did that really happen?” 

Dick twitched slightly in his seat and nodded. 

“Yeah. He put probes in the Titans and told me to work for him, or he would kill them. I didn’t have a choice. The Titans figured it out and saved me from there. We removed the probes after that so it’s alright now.” 

“Why wasn’t I contacted?” 

Renegade snorted. 

“As if you would have done anything.” 

He shook his head and, before anyone could say anything, he continued with his story. 


	3. I Snapped

“After that, he kept popping up here and there, not really causing any major trouble. Then, Jason died. Bruce was furious at the Joker. Sent him to Arkham in a full body cast. And then he seemed to forget. I mean, sure. He kept Jason’s torn up suit. He seemed to be honestly sad. But then he took in Tim and it was almost as if he had forgotten what happened to Jason. We had a falling out, then made up again. Damian appeared in our lives and I moved back to the mansion for him. Bruce didn’t know how to deal with him. We got close. Bruce refused to let Damian help him, and I could see that it hurt him. So, as soon as Bruce disappeared, I became Batman and made Damian my Robin. Then Bruce came back and allowed Damian to remain as Robin so I went back to Bludhaven. I spent some time there and then got a message from Bruce that Joker had gotten Tim. I went back, but wasn’t quick enough. We found his body strung up on meathooks. Dami had nightmares for a few weeks after that. Bruce didn’t sleep for over a week. Alfred broke down. I took care of them. Shortly before that Jason came back, furious at Bruce. After Tim, I understood him. Even I had started thinking about putting the clown down for good. But I still held onto the moral code that Bruce had taught us. I couldn’t imagine myself killing someone. Jason left again and I stayed to help Bruce find Joker. We found him, but he was ready. He made sure we were split up and then threw everything he could at us. I knew there was no way we would all make it out of there, so I told Bruce to get to Damian and get him out of there. He just nodded and ran off. After Joker. I did my best, but they just wouldn’t stay down. And then I heard Damian screaming.” 

He stopped and took a calming breath. Everyone in the room was shocked by what he was saying. Dick was pale. He had a feeling that he knew where this was going, but didn’t want to even think about it. Before they could comment, Renegade continued with his story. 

“And that was when I snapped. I didn’t hold back. All I cared about was getting to Damian. I was messy, unfocused. Slade would have whipped me raw if he had seen it. But it was my first time. I didn’t know better. I killed them all and got to Damian in time to see Joker run out of the room with a crowbar in his hand. He had managed to trick Bruce. I let him get away. Damian was…”

He stopped and Bruce, who had been observing him carefully, noticed the pain that flashed across his face. But when he spoke up again, his voice was still void of any emotions. 

“Damian was on the floor, with too many wounds to count. I got to him and picked him up, but it was too late. I didn’t even have time to call Clark or Barry. He died in my arms. Bruce went back to the cave without us. I was the one who had to take care of Damian’s body. And when I came back, he didn’t even give me time to mourn. He just started arguing about how I had broken the code. How I had killed. I don’t know if he really didn’t care or if it was just his way of dealing. But it was the last straw. I ran away. I understood that there was no way Bruce would avenge Damian. There was no way he would avenge Tim and Jason. He wouldn’t do anything because of that stupid code of his. So I decided to do it for him. I found Slade. Asked him to train me. He agreed. I mean, of course he did. It’s all he’s wanted since he first met me. The first few weeks were the worst. I had trouble concentrating, so he put me in a shock collar. Every wrong step, every mistake, every slip up and he would shock me. Meanwhile, he was torturing me almost every day. Said he needed to see how serious I was about this. After two months of this, the torture stopped, and he started training me for real. How to torture, how to interrogate. He walked me through the theory of killing and let me go with him on a few of his missions but he didn’t let me kill. Until that day. He said that there was one more thing I had to do, before I would be completely ready. He left for a few hours and came back with Bruce. And I understood. I had to kill the Bat, if I wanted to finally start my new life. But I didn’t want it to be quick. Oh, no. Slade was amused when I started cutting into him. It took me some time and some very imaginative methods but, in the end, I finally made the Bat scream. But Slade was getting impatient. He wanted me to kill him already. He started doubting that I had what it takes. He stepped in my way, and I put a bullet through his brain and burned his body to make sure he stayed dead. Then I continued torturing the Bat for a week, until I finally took a crowbar and beat him to death. It was messy. Slade would have hated it. But that was the way I wanted it to be. That was what he deserved. I was relieved that I could put my plan to work, without a Bat running around Gotham. But then, on my first round, I ran into him.” 

He pointed at Jason, clearly ignoring the way everyone was staring at him with pure horror on their faces. Even Bruce was looking slightly less composed than usual. Jason shook his head slightly. 

“I never knew how it happened.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“I know. I didn’t tell you for a reason.” 

The younger bat frowned at him. 

“What reason? What could still be holding you back?” 

For a moment, the mercenary seemed slightly shaken, before he answered slowly. 

“You’re my family, Jason. Even though we are on opposite sides. Do you really think that I couldn’t have killed you before if I wanted to? I could have. I had so many opportunities. But I never did. Call it a weakness. I can afford one. Even Slade had weaknesses.” 

Then he collected himself and continued. 

“It was odd to see someone other than Bruce in the suit. But I accepted it. Gotham needs Batman. She always does. I wasn’t going to take that away from her. But there was something I could do, to make the city safer. I had a mission, the one mission that Slade had prepared me for. And I was going to fulfill it. I went after Joker first. He was laughing all the time. Even as he died. I put a crowbar through his throat and watched him choke. I wanted him to feel pain. I wanted him to feel everything that Jason, Tim and Damian had felt. Once he was dead, I started taking out the other criminals. Two-Face was easy. He barely put up any fight. Penguin was quite easy too. Scarecrow gave me some difficulties. He managed to hit me with the fear gas and I was almost captured. Managed to get away and got smarter the next time I met him.” 

He pointed to his mask which, as they all remembered, had been covering not only his eyes but also his nose. 

“Killed him and took out everyone who worked with him. Then I went after Black Mask, Ivy and Catwoman, but Jason got to them before me. He put them in Arkham Asylum to keep them safe from me. So, I decided to take care of another problem. The Al Ghouls. I cut off Talia’s head and murdered their entire League, before I finally got to Ra’s. He tried to reason with me. Said that he would stop. That he would back away. I didn’t believe him. I cut him in half and then shut down the Lazarus Pits. It took some time and effort, but I managed to do it. Then I went back to Gotham and decided to go all out. I broke into Arkham Asylum and killed all the inmates. But then I realized something. Harley Quinn had been a normal woman, until she got involved with Joker. I couldn’t let that happen again. So I killed all the guards and nurses as well. Just to be sure.” 

“But you didn’t kill Harley.” 

Jason’s voice was calm, and the rest of them realized that he must’ve came to terms with what had happened in his universe. Diana and Clark looked terrified. Barry and Oliver looked slightly sick. J’onn’s expression didn’t change, but those who knew him knew that he was most probably as disturbed as them. Bruce was keeping his face carefully blank. Red Hood, who had seen much violence in his time as a crime lord, was managing to keep it together. Tim was shaking his head, almost as if he was in shock. Damian was following his father’s lead and trying to keep his face blank, but it was clear that he had trouble listening to this. Dick was just staring at his other self in disbelief. Renegade nodded. 

“No. I let her live. She was different, once she got out of the Joker's control. She became a good partner. Until she slipped up one day, and revealed her plans to bring Joker back to life. I killed her as mercifully as I could. A bullet straight between the eyes. I didn’t want her to suffer. But Harley’s betrayal made me realize something. No one who had any connection to a villain could be trusted. They had to disappear. I went after families of the villains. Killed Slade’s kids first. They trusted me from before. They let me close. That was their mistake. Then I went after Artemis.” 

The younger heroes, as well as Diana and Oliver, gasped in horror. 

“I found her quickly. She didn’t try to run from me. Wally was in the house with her. They let me in. Foolish mistake. I didn’t play around. Told Artemis why I was there and that I would let her say her last words to Wally, on account of our past friendship. When Wally heard that, he attacked. I didn’t want to hurt him, so I held back. I told him, several times, to step away. He refused. Said that I would have to kill him first. I didn’t have a choice. I shot him a few times to slow him down, and that was when Artemis attacked. Not as Green Arrow’s niece. No. She attacked me as Sportsmaster’s daughter. She went in for the kill, but was too slow. Way too slow. I cut off her head, and then went back to Wally. He was still alive. He asked me why I was doing it. What had happened. I couldn’t answer him. I shot him between the eyes and left. That was the first time since Damian’s death that I cried. Wally was like a brother and his death crushed me.” 

Barry was vibrating with anger, but stayed in his place, understanding that it wasn’t his earth it had happened on. 

“I think I was sick for a week, before I had enough power to get up again. But, during my time of sickness, I figured out a plan. A plan to bring Damian back to me. I needed powerful psychics for that, so I went after M’gann first. Superboy was there. He had heard about what happened to Wally and Artemis and thought I came to kill them. We fought, and I tried to explain it to him. That I didn’t WANT to kill them, but I would if he didn’t get out of my way. He refused, so I gave him a shot of kryptonite. But by then, it was too late. He had called in backup. Superman arrived, and tried to talk to me. I agreed to a conversation. I’ve always respected him. He tried to understand, even though he knew what I had done before. That I had killed so many people. I told him that I needed Miss M. If he and Superboy stepped out of the way, no one would get hurt. He refused, so I shot him with a bullet. He didn’t expect it to be made out of kryptonite, so he didn’t move away. When he was down, I put a bullet through his head. Then I killed Superboy and took Miss M with me. She went willingly, when I told her that I would kill Beast Boy if she didn’t. I took her to my house and then went after Martian Manhunter. Hal was with him. I didn’t need the Lantern, I just needed J’onn. So I gave Hal the same option I had given the others. Step out of the way or get killed. He refused to leave. So I killed him. Then I told Manhunter that I had Miss M. He went with me without any questions. I kept them there, with a simple threat. If they tried anything, I would kill the other and make them watch. They didn’t make any problems. We tried experimenting with my theory. Meanwhile I continued cleansing the city of all the filth. I killed Luthor, knowing that without Superman he would become troublesome. Then I continued my mission. I went after Cheshire and had to kill Roy to get to her. I left Beast Boy alone, even though he had that fling with Terra, because of Miss M. As long as she behaved, I had promised not to touch him. And, to be honest, he didn’t make any problems. Kaldur was one of the few that actually gave me a good challenge. Not only was finding him hard, he knew how to fight me. But he had to go. He was Black Manta’s son. I couldn’t let him live. Hearing about his death, Aquaman came for me. He almost drowned me, before I managed to cut his head off. And that seemed to be the last drop for Diana. She came for me, with Jason, Canary, Barry and Oliver. They put up a good fight, I have to admit that. But it wasn’t enough. I killed Canary and almost killed Oliver, before getting out of there. After that, I had to be more careful. I kept getting rid of villains, but not as often as before. Most of my attention was on my experiment, and keeping Jason off my back. Then, two days ago, Barry and Oliver found my house. My secret. They got in while I was out. I killed them while they were still in shock.” 

Jason flew up from his seat and Renegade cursed quietly. 

“Damn. Forgot you didn’t know about that.” 

He let Jason punch him one time, before grabbing his fist and twisting. Jason backed off, and he let the hand go. 

“As soon as we’re back, I’ll show you where their bodies are.” 

Jason shook his head. 

“You’ve told me that you don’t care about any possessions anymore. What’s so important in your house that you would kill for it?” 

There was pure fury in his voice, but he sat down in shock when he heard Renegade’s calm answer. 

“Damian’s body.” 


	4. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Oliver was the first one to find his voice. 

“You kept Damian’s body?” 

Renegade nodded slowly. 

“Of course I did.” 

Jason shook his head, clearly still in shock. 

“But… I don’t… Why?” 

“Because, once I clean the streets of all the scum, I’m going to bring him back and give him the life he deserves. M’gann and Manhunter are needed to keep him from going crazy once he comes back. We all know what Jason was like when he came back.” 

Bruce frowned. 

“You said that you destroyed all the Pits.” 

Renegade glared over to him. 

“I left one open in a place only I know about.” 

“But why would you do it? He’s dead.” 

Blue eyes turned to Oliver, an emotionless look still on his face. 

“Tell me something, Queen. If someone murdered Dinah and Roy, and you had a chance to get them back, wouldn’t you do it?” 

Oliver opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again. Renegade smiled. 

“Exactly. Now.” 

He stood up. 

“I’m going to guess that you have already disabled the Zeta tubes here so, unless you want to try locking me up somewhere again, I’m going to go train.” 

And, when nobody answered, he marched outside. Jason shook his head and quickly stood up. 

“I should go after him.” 

J’onn looked up at him. 

“Will he cause any trouble?” 

“Honestly? I don’t know. I thought I knew him, but I guess I was wrong.” 

And he followed his brother out of the room. It took him a few minutes before he finally found him. Renegade was standing in a hallway, looking out the window at the stars. Jason stopped next to him. 

“This is quite a view, isn’t it?” 

Jason looked down at his face. 

“Dick…” 

“I told you not to call me that.” 

They stood there in silence for almost two minutes, just looking out. 

“Ren?” 

Renegade made a sound to show him that he was listening. 

“When we get back, you can’t do what you were planning. You can’t bring Damian back.” 

“And why not?” 

“Because that’s not what he would have wanted.” 

The mercenary turned to him, anger appearing in his eyes. 

“And how would you know that? You were never around. You hated Damian. All you ever did was put him down. You couldn’t accept him, whatever he did. Even when he started following those stupid rules that Bruce had set up. You hated him. So you don’t get to say anything about what Damian would have wanted and not wanted.” 

Jason took a step away from him. 

“I might not have known Damian that well, but he wasn’t a bad kid. And he would be terrified by what you’ve become. And so would Bruce and Tim.” 

Renegade glared at him. 

“And do you think I care about what Bruce would have wanted? He is the reason Tim and Damian are dead. He is the reason I became what I am. He wasn’t there for Tim. He wasn’t there for Damian. He wasn’t there for me. He left us. And you are becoming just like him. Trying to keep everyone in line. Making everyone do exactly what you want them to do.” 

He took a threatening step towards him. Jason just looked at him calmly, not letting himself get intimidated. 

“Now listen to me very carefully. I’ve been going easy on you up till now. But if you try to stop me from bringing Damian back, I will kill you.” 

And, with one last glare, he turned around and walked away. Jason hung his head and sighed, only to look up again when he heard quiet steps approaching him. He turned around, and saw Dick walking towards him. 

“Are you alright?” 

He frowned. 

“What?” 

Dick shrugged and came to a stop next to him. 

“I heard your conversation. I… I’m not sure what to say about it. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” 

Jason shook his head, a small smile appearing on his face. 

“I’ve missed you like this. The caring you. Renegade, he… I don’t know what to do with him anymore. He’s killed so many people, and I’ve tried everything to stop him. I tried to talk to him, I tried fighting him. Nothing worked. He’s killed everyone close to me, except for Diana.” 

Without hesitation, Dick put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. Jason tensed up for a few seconds, before relaxing and huggin back. He pulled away soon after and gave the younger man a smile. 

“Thank you.” 

“I would say ‘anytime’ but I don’t think you two will stick around for long once we figure out a way for you to go back. Now. He hasn’t tried to hurt you up till now, right?” 

Jason shook his head. 

“No. Not yet.” 

Dick turned to the window, looking at the stars. 

“He will. If you really try to stop him from bringing Dami back. He will kill you.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because that’s what I would have done.” 

Jason turned to him with a frown. 

“You’re still Nightwing here. You haven’t lost anyone.” 

Dick took a deep breath, still keeping his eyes on the stars. It seemed to be something calming for him. 

“I lost Jason. He’s back now. Him and B might not get along, but we have him back. But if anything were to happen to Damian, and Bruce didn’t do anything… I would go to Slade. I would do anything I could to get him back. Even if it meant killing. Sometimes it feels almost as if Damian is my son and not B’s. I would do anything for him. For my family.” 

He turned to Jason, seriousness clear in his eyes. 

“Jason. When you go back to your earth, you have to let him bring Damian back. If you don’t, I’m worried that he will go on a rampage and massacre everyone. And if he then brings back Damian after that, and Dami hates him, he will be destroyed. I know myself. I know that I can be just as unpredictable and dangerous as Slade if I want to. Trust me when I say that you don’t want him unstable and hurt. Because I doubt there will be anyone capable of stopping him.” 

Jason nodded to acknowledge that he had heard him. Unbeknownst to them, Damian had been watching from the shadows. Hearing the last sentence, he turned around and hurried away. He had a mission and he was going to go through with it. 

********

Renegade was walking with a purpose. The Watchtower on this earth looked exactly like he remembered the one on his earth looking. He was heading towards the top. He had always loved being up there. Being able to see the stars so close. He hadn’t been able to do anything for himself in so long. Everything he had done had been for Damian. To create a safe world for the kid to live in. Even if it meant killing people he had once been close to. He didn’t feel regret anymore. Slade had made sure to beat that out of him. If he was being honest, there was little he felt nowadays. He had gotten numb to everything happening. It didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was getting Damian back. He came to a stop at the top floor, right under the glass roof. He looked up and felt a calm that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He felt more than heard someone approaching and tilted his head slightly. There were very few people who could move so quietly that he didn’t hear them. But only one of those was in the Watchtower. 

“What do you want?” 

“You used to love hiding up here when you were a child.” 

He turned around and glared at Bruce. 

“What do you want?” 

The man just looked at him calmly. 

“We should talk.” 

“I don’t care about what you have to say.” 

“I know.” 

He glanced to the stars, before looking at the young man again. 

“What happened to your voice?” 

Almost automatically, Renegade’s hand raised to his throat, before falling down again. He seemed to consider his choices, before nodding slightly. 

“My first mission with Slade. We were passing a burning house and I heard a child screaming inside. I ran inside before Slade could stop me. Found the kid alive, but it was too late to get out. The room was completely on fire. Slade pulled me out of there in the last second. I didn’t get any burns. The suit protected me from it. But I breathed in smoke and fire sparks. Burned my vocal cords. Slade shot the kid in front of me and refused to let me see a doctor. My voice became like this. A reminder of what happens when I decide to be a hero and rush in to save someone.” 

His voice was emotionless. He didn’t care anymore. The pain he felt when talking didn’t bother him like it had done in the beginning. Back then, he had begged Slade to let him get it fixed. All it got him was more beatings and torture. Begging was a weakness. And weakness was not tolerated. Slade had told him to either accept the pain, or he would get rid of the problem for him. By cutting out his vocal cords. So he started talking. He talked to Wintergreen. He talked to Slade. He talked to himself. And, after a month, he had grown used to the pain. Now, he barely noticed it. Bruce sighed heavily and Renegade felt irritation. 

“I don’t want your pity.” 

“It’s not pity. It’s sadness.” 

The young man snorted. 

“Sadness is a weakness and distraction.” 

Bruce looked at him with slight curiosity. 

“What else is a weakness?” 

“Begging, crying, regret, guilt, fear. Emotions that get in the way of completing the mission.” 

He turned to Bruce, slight amusement appearing in his eyes. 

“You know, you and Slade weren’t that different when it came to those things. Mission always came first. He didn’t have to train me too much in that department. Just strengthen what you already ingrained in me.” 

“Dick…” 

“Don’t call me that.” 

Bruce frowned. 

“That’s your name.” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“No. Dick Grayson died in Slade’s basement, beaten almost to death. He was weak. And weakness is not tolerated. I’m Renegade.” 

Then he turned away from him, looking up at the stars. Bruce looked at him with questioning eyes. Renegade smiled while looking up. 

“You are wondering about something.” 

“You said you killed me. On your earth. What did you feel when you did it?” 

The young man froze. He still remembered it. Remembered how nervous he had been when Slade brought in Bruce. How his hand had shaken when he held the knife up. He had been determined to make the man scream. But when it came to the torture itself, he had to force himself to do it. But Slade was watching and hesitating would be punished. After the first day, he had thrown up and been unable to sleep. After that, it got easier. But he still felt some kind of wrongness. He hadn’t been able to sleep. He could barely eat. And then Slade had stepped in. Started screaming at him. And he snapped. He pulled the trigger before he understood what he was doing. After that, he burned Slade’s body. He had to make sure that he didn’t heal and come back. And then the fear had hit him. Slade was dead. He had killed Slade Wilson. He was a murderer. He started torturing Bruce again, feeling the pain of every blow he delivered. He had been crying all the time. Bruce had tried talking to him. But he didn’t want to hear it. In the end, he had grabbed a crowbar and started beating him. He lost himself in the pain, fear and anger. When he was able to stop, Bruce was dead. He didn’t cry. No. Tears were a weakness. He threw up again. He was shaking and screaming when Wintergreen finally went down to the basement and dragged him back upstairs. He hadn’t been able to get out of the bed for over a week. After that, he got up and got to work, pushing all the emotions away. Emotions were a weakness. They only got in the way.

“Renegade?” 

Bruce’s voice pulled him back from his thoughts. He turned around and looked at him with cold eyes. 

“Nothing. I felt nothing.”


	5. He Will Hate You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

Renegade made his way to the training room without running into anyone else. He opened the door and stopped when he saw Oliver standing inside. The archer looked up from his bow and tilted his head. 

“I’ve been waiting for you.” 

Renegade looked around the room. 

“Alone? Not your smartest move.” 

“I need to talk to you.” 

The mercenary just looked at him for a minute, before nodding and walking inside the room, closing the door behind him. 

“I guessed you would.” 

Then he smirked. 

“You were one of the few who put up a really good fight. Especially after I took down Flash.” 

Oliver just rolled his eyes.

“Are you trying to intimidate me? Or is this your idea of small talk?” 

Renegade shook his head, something shifting in his stare. 

“You’re not stupid. You never were. Whatever Batman might say.” 

He walked over to one of the benches and sat down. 

“What did you want to talk about?” 

“You killed me. On your earth.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“And you killed many others. Many of whom you would have given your life for, before this whole mess happened.” 

“Where are you trying to get with this?” 

Oliver frowned at him. 

“Did you feel anything while doing it? You said that you got physically ill after killing Wally. But what about the others? The people you were close with before. Did you feel anything?” 

Renegade tilted his head, curiosity on his face. 

“Why do you wonder about that?” 

“I’m just trying to figure out how much humanity Slade left in you.” 

At that, Renegade started laughing. In his raspy voice, it sounded painful and Oliver almost flinched. 

“Humanity? I’m still human. Slade was going to change that after my first kill, but I killed him and his plans didn’t work out. Wintergreen advised me against going through with the procedure, so I didn’t do it.” 

“Procedure?” 

After a few seconds, a look of horror appeared on Oliver’s face. 

“The experiments that Slade was put through. He was going to put you through them as well?” 

Renegade nodded. 

“That was his plan. I was going to leave him before that. Didn’t want to risk the experiments messing with my mind and making me change my goal in any way. So I’m still human.” 

Right then, the door opened and Damian walked inside. Renegade’s eyes widened slightly, but he stayed where he was. Oliver looked between them and nodded. 

“I’ll leave you two alone. And I’ll try to keep Dick and Bruce from coming here.” 

And he walked out. Damian marched over to Renegade and stopped right in front of him. 

“You can’t do it.” 

Renegade frowned. 

“I can’t do what?” 

“You can’t bring him back.” 

The mercenary was going to protest, but the determination he saw on Damian’s face stopped him. 

“And why not?” 

“Because…” 

The boy stopped and Renegade smiled. This time, the smile was honest and almost fond. 

“Damian on my earth couldn’t talk about feelings either.” 

Then his expression closed off. 

“But if your Dick Grayson or Batman put you up to this, you can stop wasting your breath. I’m not going to change my plans.” 

He stood up and started heading towards the training area, his hands going up to pull out the dual katanas he had strapped to his back the same way Slade wore them. Right before he could grab them, Damian burst out:

“Because he will hate you!” 

Renegade let his hands fall and turned back to the boy. 

“Being Robin is the most important thing in my life. The one thing I actually enjoy doing. And Richard is the most important person in my life. Now, let’s say you manage to get rid of all the criminals and villains. If you bring him back and he sees what you have done, he will hate you. And if he then also finds out that there is no reason for him to be Robin anymore, he will try to find a reason. And the best reason will be to get rid of the thing that caused his misery. That thing, will be you. He will hunt you for the rest of his life, if that’s what it takes. He will not stop, until you are dead. Because you will have put killing back on the table. He will hate you, and never want to see you again. He’ll do all he can to take you down. Is that what you want?” 

The mercenary hesitated. 

“Think about that. I understand that you want what’s best for him. But the best thing to do is let him stay dead.” 

And he marched out of the room. Suddenly not being interested in training anymore, Renegade walked over to the bench again and sat down. He knew all this. He knew that Damian wouldn’t approve. He knew that he wouldn’t stay with him when he was brought back. But he had tried to not think about that too much. As long as Damian would be safe and away from any harm, he could live with the boy not talking to him. But he would have to get rid of Diana if he wanted this to work. Otherwise she would try to convince Damian to become a hero again. But that also meant killing countless other heroes that might be able to sway Damian into putting on the suit. He knew that Kara was after him, after he killed Clark and Conner. Donna would probably try to kill him once he killed Diana. The atlanteans were pissed off because of Arthur’s death. He still didn’t know if the other Green Lanterns would get involved or not. Sure, he was able to beat Hal. But to take on the entire Green Lantern Corps? That might be more tricky. And then there was the problem of Jason. Even if him and Damian never really got along, the boy might get pulled to him by the idea of Batman and Robin working together again. He shook his head, his expression smoothing over again. It didn’t matter. He would kill them all if that made Damian stay with him. After all, Batman wasn’t the only one with contingency plans. Slade had had them too. And now Renegade had them. And he would put them all to use if he felt the need. If any of them tried to take Damian away from him. He glanced over to the clock on the wall and realized that he had been sitting and thinking for almost half an hour. Just as he was starting to wonder why he had been left alone for so long, the door opened and Barry ran inside. There was clear worry on his face. Renegade stood up quickly, tensing up slightly. Seeing that, Barry took a small step back. 

“They… Uh… They left me with you, but I don’t like having you down here while I’m up there and the Zeta tubes are working.” 

Renegade frowned. 

“They left? Who?” 

“Everyone. Even Jason. Well, your Jason. And ours.” 

For a second, the mercenary just stared at him. Barry took a few steps in place. 

“Deathstroke showed up and started killing, so they all went and told me to keep an eye on you.” 

Renegade’s eyes widened slightly. 

“Slade? They went to fight Slade?” 

Barry nodded. 

“Those fools.” 

That made the speedster raise his eyebrows. 

“Fools? They have Clark, Diana, Bruce, Oliver, Jason and J’onn out there. Not to mention Dick, Tim and Damian. And your Jason.” 

Renegade shook his head, amusement appearing on his face. 

“You clueless idiots. Deathstroke kills and disappears. If you know about him being somewhere, it means he wants you to know. He wants you there to fight him. And your numbers won’t matter. Slade always has kryptonite on him. Even has a dagger made of it. J’onn can easily be taken out by fire. That’s how I keep him in line when he tries going into my mind. Slade’s strength matches Jason's and Diana’s. If you went out there, he would beat you in seconds. And, for all their good qualities, the rest of them are only humans. Even your Batman won’t be able to beat him. Even Jason can’t.” 

Barry dragged in a sharp breath. 

“You’re saying that this is a trap.” 

“Most likely. He’s trying to draw you out. For what reason, I don’t know. And frankly, I don’t care.” 

Right then, Barry’s hand shot up to his ear where his comm was. 

“Nightwing? Nightwing?! I can barely hear you!” 

He shouted in frustration and Renegade smirked. 

“See. He’s already taken them down.” 

Barry just looked at him for a long moment, before asking:

“Could you take him down?” 

The mercenary frowned. 

“I should be able to. But why would I? Why should I care about what happens to the people of your earth? Or Jason, for that matter. If he kills him, I’ll just have one less problem.” 

“You don’t really mean that. Jason is your family.” 

“I already told him that I would kill him if he tried to stop me from bringing Damian back. And everything points towards him trying to do it. This way, I can just sit back and let it happen.” 

Barry nodded. 

“Maybe. Maybe you are as cold hearted as Slade. But remember one thing. Damian is out there too. He might not be your Damian, but he is still Damian. Are you going to let Slade kill him as well?” 

Something hardened in Renegade’s eyes. 

“Maybe I underestimated you, Flash. Alright. Let’s go kill Deathstroke.” 

The speedster shook his head quickly. 

“No. You can’t kill…” 

“I’ll do everything I have to do.” 

Barry took a deep breath. 

“If you give me your word that you won’t kill him, I’ll call Wally and get him to come to the Watchtower.” 

Blue eyes looked at him sharply. Renegade seemed to consider this offer carefully, before nodding. 

“You have my word. Now let’s go.” 

Barry nodded, grabbed Renegade and sped them out of the room and towards the Zeta tubes. 


	6. My First Kill

The situation was bad. They were on a rooftop, and Deathstroke was the only one standing. Clark was in one corner, a kryptonite dagger sticking out of his shoulder. Diana was tied up next to him, her own lasso tight around her body. Oliver was pinned to the chimney with two arrows through each shoulder. Red Hood had a bullet wound through his thigh, but didn’t pay too much attention to it, since he was doing his best to stop the bleeding from a wound Tim had on his hip. Dick had been hit in the head with enough force to make him dizzy and he was struggling to get on his feet. Damian had been thrown around a few times and was trying to get over to Bruce, who was laying on the ground with several cracked ribs and his leg broken in three places. J’onn was kneeling on the ground, a ring of fire burning around him. Jason was trying to stand up, even though he had several stab wounds all over his body. Slade pulled his mask off and smirked. 

“So you are the guest from another dimension. My computers got readings about something happening, but I couldn’t figure out where. Thank you for coming to me. Saved me some time.” 

He turned away from Jason and looked down at Dick. 

“Hallo, Little Bird. It’s been a while.” 

“What do you want, Slade?” 

The man tilted his head slightly. 

“The life of the newcomer. Someone is paying me well for killing him.” 

Diana frowned. 

“How does anyone know about this?” 

Slade shrugged. 

“I didn’t question them. They pay, I shoot. Easy.” 

“And why would you want to make things hard for yourself?” 

Everyone turned to where Renegade had landed on the roof and was looking at Slade with a smirk. His mask was on, shielding his eyes and nose. Next to him, Barry was shifting from foot to foot. Renegade glanced at him. 

“Go.” 

The speedster sped around the roof, stopping next to Diana. She looked up at him with shock. 

“What’s going on?” 

He just shook his head and they went back to watching the scene unfold. Slade looked at Renegade with a slight frown. 

“Those are my swords.” 

Renegade pulled them out slowly and looked at the blades. 

“Yeah. Decided to keep them. Extremely well balanced.” 

“You’re from the other earth as well.” 

Renegade nodded, his grip on the swords relaxed. Bruce, who had been studying his body language, noticed that the young man was very calm. He didn’t seem bothered by the fact that Deathstroke was standing in front of him and had beaten the entire League. 

“Yeah. Decided to make a quick visit. See how you have it here.” 

Slade glanced down to the swords again, clearly hung up on the fact that Renegade had them. 

“How did you get my swords?” 

Renegade grinned at him. 

“You used to train me with them. Said that you needed to be sure that I could fight with whatever I got my hands on, and usually that meant your swords once I disarmed you. After I killed you, I decided to keep them. Much better than any other weapons I’ve ever had.” 

Slade frowned. 

“I trained you?” 

“Yeah. Made me into what I am today.” 

“And you killed me?” 

Renegade shrugged with one shoulder. 

“You got in my way.” 

He tilted his head slightly, the corner of his lips twitching upwards. 

“You were my first kill, actually. You planned for it to be Batman. But then you questioned my methods. So I got you out of my way.” 

Slade frowned. He seemed to think about something very hard, before his head snapped over to Nightwing. Renegade grinned. 

“Finally everything falls into place.” 

Slade turned back to him. 

“Grayson.” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“Not anymore. Once, I was Dick Grayson. You made sure he died.” 

He lifted his swords a bit, getting in a slightly more offensive stance. 

“Now. Let’s get this over with, shall we?” 

“You’re here to kill me?” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“No. I was going to, to make sure you stay away from Robin. But I got a good offer if I take you in alive. So I guess it’s your lucky day.”

A few of the Leaguers glanced over to Barry, but the speedster was keeping his eyes on the two mercenaries. Slade shrugged and pulled his own swords out. They circled around each other for a few seconds, before Renegade attacked. He moved swiftly, almost like he was flying. His hits and slashes were quick and powerful. Bruce was shocked at the way the young man moved. He himself had trained Dick, and this was not what he had shown him. Slade seemed to be shocked as well, getting pushed back slightly before he found his footing again. He started fighting back, a small smirk on his face. They fought for almost five minutes, before Slade suddenly stabbed Renegade through the shoulder. The young man gasped slightly, taking a few steps backwards and crouching down. Slade grinned. 

“I guess I didn’t train you well enough.” 

Without a sound, Renegade put his own swords on the ground, grabbed the handle of the sword that was in his shoulder and pulled it out with one swift move. Still looking at Slade, he threw the sword at his feet and grabbed his blades again, standing up at the same time. 

“You know what you always told me when you came down to torture me? Pain is an illusion. You used to torture me until I stopped screaming. Until I accepted the pain. Pushed through it. Stopped reacting to it.” 

He smirked. 

“Come on. This can’t be the best you’ve got.” 

Slade frowned, before attacking again. To everyone’s surprise, Renegade countered his attacks as if he didn’t have a wound through his shoulder. They exchanged a few more blows in silence, and then Slade started talking. 

“This is really interesting. Seeing what Nightwing could become if pushed too far. Seeing what I could make him into.” 

He ducked under the sword that was coming towards his neck and smirked. 

“And, from what I understand, all I have to do is get rid of Robin.” 

Renegade froze. Slade used that moment to try stabbing him again, this time through his chest. In the last second, the young man jumped back. He glanced over to Damian, before standing tall again, tightening his grip on the swords. 

“You just signed your death sentence.” 

This time, when he attacked, he was much more aggressive. Within minutes, he had Slade pinned against the chimney next to Oliver. The archer looked at them with big eyes, but the arrows kept him in place. Just seconds later, Slade had lost both his swords and had several cuts across his arms. His eye was wide open in shock. The Leaguers were shocked as well. They had all fought Slade on several occasions. And he was not easy to beat. Renegade quickly stabbed one of the swords right through Slade’s body, going through the weak spots in his armor. He pushed so hard, that the tip of the sword went into the chimney behind the man. Then he took a step back and tilted his head. 

“I want you to know that this isn’t personal. I just can’t let you hurt Robin.” 

He lifted his sword and swung it towards Slade’s neck. In the last second, the sword was stopped by a person who suddenly appeared next to them. Renegade looked at the young man with irritation, that turned into shock when he saw who it was. The man knocked Slade out and then came to a stop in front of Renegade. 

“Hi.” 

The mercenary took a step backwards, dropping his sword. 


	7. I Can't Let That Happen

Renegade just stared at the young man, before taking a step forward. 

“Wally?” 

The speedster nodded, a slight grin appearing on his face. 

“Yeah. Barry called me on his way here and explained everything to me. I couldn’t believe it, so I decided to skip waiting until things were over, and just pop up here and see for myself. I have to admit that I did not expect it to be true.” 

He leaned down and picked up Renegade’s sword. The mercenary glanced down to it, and then stretched one hand out towards him. Wally frowned. 

“Do you promise to not stab anyone if I give this back to you?” 

“For now.” 

Wally’s frown deepened for a second, before he stretched the sword over to Renegade. The mercenary grabbed it and, with one quick move, pulled the other sword out of Slade’s body, letting him fall to the ground. Wally flinched slightly, Renegade freezing when he saw that. 

“I won’t hurt you, Wally.” 

“Barry told me you killed me. Or, at least the me on your earth.” 

Renegade quickly put the swords back in the sheath. 

“I did. But I’m not going to hurt YOU.” 

Wally gave him a long look, before shaking his head. 

“We can talk later. Right now, we have to help the others. Get Arrow loose.” 

Renegade hesitated, before nodding. He walked over to Oliver, while Wally sped away, only to come back with two big buckets of water to extinguish the fire around J’onn. Meanwhile, Renegade quickly snapped the arrows and pulled Oliver off of them. The archer screamed when they went through his body. Renegade guided him down to sit against the chimney and looked over the wounds. 

“Seems like they went through clean. You gonna be alright?” 

Oliver nodded, wincing slightly. Seeing that, Renegade stood up and walked over to Clark, while Barry was helping Diana untangle from the lasso. Clark looked up at him, clearly too weak to move. The mercenary grabbed the handle of the kryptonite knife. 

“Stay still.” 

And he pulled it out making sure to throw it as far away from Clark as possible. Wally, who had gotten the fire under control, sped over to Dick. 

“You alright?” 

He nodded, groaning when the quick move made him more dizzy. 

“I hit the head too hard. But I should be fine.” 

Damian, who had managed to get to Bruce, looked up with worry in his eyes. 

“I need help!” 

Renegade’s head snapped over to him and he hurried over there, kneeling down next to the boy. He looked him over, but Damian shook his head. 

“Not me.” 

Renegade’s eyes moved down to Bruce. The man was clearly having trouble breathing, his broken leg laying at an awkward angle. Renegade hesitated. Moving quickly, Damian grabbed his arm. 

“Help him.” 

With a heavy sigh, Renegade moved to Bruce’s other side, put his hands on his chest and started to move them slowly. After a moment, he nodded. 

“His ribs are cracked. It’s most probably the pain that’s making him have trouble breathing.” 

He moved down to Bruce’s leg. 

“This, on the other side, is a bigger problem. He won’t be able to walk for some time. But the breaks seem to be clean. No bones sticking out. So that’s a good sign.” 

He looked up at Damian again. 

“Happy?” 

The boy nodded. 

“Thank you.” 

Without another word, Renegade stood up and walked over to Jason. At the same time, Barry was helping Hood stop the bleeding from Tim’s hip. Jason looked up at his brother and tilted his head. 

“Are you gonna finish it?” 

“Are you gonna stop me?” 

Jason sighed. 

“Ren, I can’t let you bring him back.” 

Renegade hesitated, before putting a hand on Jason’s shoulder and helping him sit down on the ground. 

“Don’t take this wrong. If this keeps going on, I will kill you. But I’m going to do it on my own. I don’t want Slade’s sloppy seconds.” 

He looked up to where Wally was helping Dick stand up. Jason followed his gaze and then looked at him again. 

“Are you alright?” 

Almost immediately, every emotion that had been on Renegade’s face disappeared. He turned to Clark, who had by now stood up, and asked in a calm voice:

“Think you can fly?” 

Without a word, Clark lifted off the ground. Renegade nodded. 

“Good. Take Jason to the Watchtower. He needs medical attention.” 

Then he stood up, walked over to Oliver, grabbed the archer’s arm and put it over his own shoulders. With one quick move, he pulled him to his feet, steadying him when Oliver swayed. 

“Barry. Take him and Hood with you. Wally, you take Tim. The rest of us will wait here.” 

Bruce frowned. 

“Who made you the leader?” 

His voice, although calm and steady, was filled with pain. Renegade shrugged with his uninjured shoulder. 

“The fact that you had to call in me to beat Slade. Now move.” 

Moving quickly, Barry and Wally grabbed Tim, Hood and Oliver, while Clark lifted Jason. The young man grinned at him. 

“I still remember when I used to ride on your back. Good times.” 

With a fond smile, Clark flew away to where the Zeta Tubes were, the two speedsters following him. They came back two minutes later, glancing at Renegade. 

“Clark, you take Bruce. Wally. Dick and and Damian. Barry, take Diana and J’onn.” 

Bruce’s mouth became a thin line, before he spoke up with a warning voice. 

“You want us to leave you here. With Deathstroke.” 

Renegade glared down at him. 

“Didn’t I promise that I wouldn’t stab anyone?” 

“You don’t expect us to believe you, do you?” 

Wally took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“I trust him. He promised me.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“See.” 

Clark leaned down and picked Bruce up into his arms. The speedsters grabbed the others and all three sped off. As soon as they were gone, Renegade turned to Deathstroke. The man opened his eye and laughed quietly. 

“I guess I did train you well.” 

He stood up slowly, the wound on his chest still bleeding. With careful steps, he walked over to where his swords were and picked them up. When he looked at Renegade again, the young man was still standing in his old place, not having drawn any weapons. 

“You don’t have to leave, you know.” 

Renegade tilted his head slightly, before pulling his mask off, letting it hang down behind his back. 

“What do you mean?” 

Slade leaned against the chimney. 

“You could stay here. Killing the Bat and his birds wouldn’t be that hard. I’d get the apprentice and successor I want, you can keep the brat you want. Everyone wins.” 

The young man shook his head with a smirk. 

“No.”

“No?” 

Renegade snorted. 

“Of course not. The only person winning, will be you.” 

Slade frowned. 

“I told you that I would let you keep the brat.” 

“So you can use him to control me? Slade, I know you. You trained me. I lived with you. I know what you’re like.” 

Slade looked at him with slight appreciation in his eye. 

“So I really did do a good job training you.” 

Then he moved away from the chimney, only to sway slightly. He frowned, but didn’t let it stop him. 

“But that leaves us with a big problem. Someone from the League will be here soon. What are you going to do? After all, you promised your speedster to not stab anyone.” 

Renegade sighed. 

“I did. But haven’t you noticed something?” 

Slade tilted his head. 

“You’re getting dizzy. Your wound isn’t closing.” 

The man’s eye widened slightly. 

“What did you do?” 

“Remember when I stabbed you?” 

He pulled his swords out and twisted one of them so that the handle was out towards Slade. 

“Back when you were training me, I found all your contingency plans against the people you decided were dangerous enough to threaten you. So I decided to make one of my own. I stole your swords and made a small compartment here.” 

He pushed the handle the right way, and a compartment opened, showing an empty vial. He closed it again, a small smirk on his face. 

“When pushed and twisted the right way, the poison is released along the blade, mixing with the blood in your wound. It’s then distributed through your body. I had the poison specially made to counter all the experiments done to you. It won’t kill you. But it will weaken you. Considerably. I placed it in your swords, since you were always so happy when I managed to disarm you. Thought it would be the easiest way.” 

Slade, who had been swaying more and more, now leaned against the chimney again. With slow steps, Renegade walked over to him, grabbed his shoulders and pushed him down to his knees. The man fell down easily, the drug making him weaker and weaker. He looked up at Renegade, his eye having trouble concentrating. 

“You won’t stop trying to get Nightwing to join you. And you will hurt Damian to do it. I can’t let that happen.” 

With one quick move, he lifted his sword up and brought it down again, cutting Slade’s head clean off. For a few seconds he just stood there, looking at the body, before leaning down and setting it on fire. As it burned, he heard a swish and then a gasp behind him. Turning around, he came face to face with Wally. The speedster was looking at the scene with horror. 

“What have you done?” 

Renegade shrugged, and put the swords back in their sheat. 

“I promised to not stab anyone. A beheading is not a stabbing.” 

Wally shook his head. 

“I have to take you back to the Watchtower.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“I know. And I will not struggle.” 

“I don’t believe you. Not anymore.” 

He sped away, only to reappear next to the mercenary. Still moving quickly, he grabbed his wrists, pulled them behind his back and put handcuffs on them. He tightened them to the point that they were biting into his wrists, Renegade actually wincing when the angle twisted his wounded shoulder. 

“You don’t have to tighten them that much.” 

“You’re an escape artist. I’m not taking any chances.” 

He grabbed Renegade and sped away. They took the Zeta Tube and arrived in the Watchtower. Wally sped them to the med bay, where J’onn and Diana were taking care of the wounded heroes. Seeing Renegade handcuffed, Jason sat up, ignoring Diana’s protests about his wounds. Wally took a few steps away from the mercenary and said with a quiet voice. 

“He killed Deathstroke.” 


	8. She Had Gained My Respect

Jason breathed out in relief and flopped down onto his back again. 

“Thank heavens. I thought he did something bad.” 

Almost everyone glared at him, so he shrugged. 

“What? It’s not like anyone will miss that bastard.” 

“That’s not the point!” 

Ignoring Barry’s outraged voice, he looked up at Renegade. 

“How did you kill him?” 

“Cut his head off and burned the body.” 

Jason nodded. 

“See. He promised to not stab anyone. And he didn’t stab anyone. Now uncuff him.” 

Before anyone could react to that, Oliver stood up. Both his shoulders were bangaded, but he seemed otherwise alright. With slow steps he walked over to Wally and stretched his hand out. 

“The key?” 

Without a second thought, Wally gave it to him. Oliver quickly grabbed the handcuffs and unlocked them. 

“What are you doing?” 

Oliver turned to Diana, an annoyed look on his face. 

“Are you all really mad at him for getting rid of the only man around who could take us all down? If anything, we should be grateful.” 

He put a hand on Renegade’s shoulder and pushed him towards one of the empty beds. 

“Sit down and pull down your suit. I want to look at that wound.” 

The mercenary gave him a glare, but went along with him to sit on the bed. Clark was opening his mouth to say something, but stopped himself when Dick started talking. His voice was quiet and thoughtful. 

“I understand why he did it.” 

Everyone turned to him. 

“Dick, he just…” 

“I know.” 

Dick’s voice gained a bit of strength when he cut Diana off. 

“I know what he did. But none of you know Deathstroke the way I do. He is… was always obsessed with me. Wanted to make me his apprentice. Now that he saw what I could become if pushed too far? He would stop at nothing to make me snap. He would kill my family, my friends. He would do anything. So I understand why Renegade did what he did. And I’m thankful.” 

The mercenary shrugged. 

“I didn’t do it for you.” 

“I know. And that’s why I’m thanking you.” 

Renegade was going to say something, but stopped when Oliver peeled the suit away from the wound. He stilled, letting the archer prod and press around his wound. After a few seconds, he seemed to be satisfied, because he grabbed a wet piece of cloth and started cleaning the wound. Jason, who had the suit pulled down to his waist and his wounds wrapped in bandages, stood up slowly, ignoring Diana’s protests. 

“I’ve had worse, Diana. I’ll be fine.” 

He pulled the suit up again, letting the cowl hang behind his back. Oliver, who had been finishing bandaging the wound, stepped away from Renegade and nodded. 

“You’re good to go.” 

Diana shook her head. 

“He’s not going anywhere without supervision.” 

Hood nodded and stood up from his bed. His bullet wound had been stitched up and he seemed to not be paying any attention to it. 

“I’ll go with him.” 

“You’re hurt!” 

He rolled his eyes. 

“It’s a bullet wound. I’ve had much worse. And I’m enhanced from the Pit. Will be good as new soon.” 

He marched over to Renegade, who had managed to pull his suit up again, grabbed his wounded shoulder and pulled him towards the door. The mercenary gave him a glare, but followed him out of the room. Hood pulled him down the hallway and into an empty room, before closing the door and sighing heavily. He let go of Renegade’s shoulder, the young man massaging it slightly. 

“What do you want?” 

“To thank you, first of all.” 

Renegade tilted his head. Seeing that, Hood started explaining.

“When Dick finally told me what happened between him and Slade, all I wanted to do was put a few bullets in that fucker. But Dick wouldn’t allow it. Said that it was his fight and that he didn’t want anyone else to get dragged into it. Normally, I wouldn’t give a damn about what he said, but he made me swear to not do anything against Slade. So I didn’t. Thanks for getting that out of the way.” 

Very slowly, Renegade nodded, his blue eyes looking at Jason with curiosity. 

“You know I didn’t do it for Nightwing, right? I don’t give a damn about what happens to him.” 

The door behind Hood opened and Damian walked inside. Hood frowned. 

“What are you doing here, Hell Spawn?” 

He shrugged. 

“Father told me to keep an eye on Renegade. Frankly, no one in there, maybe except for Grayson, trusts either of you. So father sent me here. Renegade won’t hurt me. And you wouldn’t dare doing anything, since that would make Grayson hate you. So I’m the best option.” 

Then he turned to Renegade. 

“Thank you for killing Deathstroke. He’s been giving Grayson enough trouble as it is.” 

Renegade nodded, his eyes never leaving the boy. Hood rolled his eyes.

“Do you two want me to give you a moment?”

The mercenary glared at him, while Damian sighed in irritation. 

“Why do you have to be so annoying, Todd?” 

“It’s part of my charm.” 

Without a word, the boy marched out of the room again. Hood smirked. 

“I’m guessing he’s going to send someone else here soon. Me and Hell Spawn don’t exactly get along.” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“No. On my earth, you two weren’t close either. You never liked him. I think Dami tried to get along with you one or two times, but he gave up quickly. I was the only one who understood him.” 

Hood looked at him with a thoughtful look. 

“There is something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” 

Renegade raised his eyebrows. 

“When you told us your story before, there were a few people you didn’t mention. Kate. Alfred. Babs.” 

Renegade took a deep breath. 

“Barbara is wheelchair bound.” 

Hood huffed out an irritated breath. 

“Joker.” 

“No.” 

Sea-green eyes snapped up to him. 

“What? Joker shot her. It happened here too.” 

“No. Joker didn’t get to her. I did.” 

Hood’s hand automatically went to his gun, his eyes widening. 

“What?!” 

Renegade glanced down to where the other man was holding his gun in a tight grip, before walking over to one of the tables and sitting on it. 

“After I killed Bruce and started going out on missions, Barbara caught up to me on a rooftop. She knew who I was. Jason had told her. She tried talking me out of killing. Said that it wouldn’t change anything. Begged me to come home. I refused. I told her to get out of my way, or I would kill her. I didn’t care. Later on, I might have cared. Might even have reacted the same way I did to Wally’s death. But it was still too soon. Too soon after Slade’s tortures and training. Too soon after Bruce.” 

He shook his head. His expression, which had started to get slightly sad, quickly smoothed over into an emotionless mask. 

“I told her to go. She didn’t. Started chasing me across roofs. I knew that Jason and Kate would get involved soon, so I had to stop her in some way. I managed to trick her in some tight corners and got behind her. I stabbed her. Meant to stab her through the heart. Make it quick and get out of there. But she tried jumping up to grab a ledge at the same moment. My sword severed her spinal cord. I was going to finish her off. End her suffering. But Jason and Kate arrived at that moment. I didn’t have time to get into another fight, so I left. I ran into Jason two months later and he told me that Barbara can’t walk anymore. He had her moved to the Watchtower to make sure I didn’t try to finish what I started.” 

Hood was looking angry, but was in control of himself. 

“What about Kate? And Alfred?” 

“After Barbara, Kate and Jason were the only ones to patrol Gotham. No one else was left. And, with Jason on League business, Kate was the one I ran into the most. During my attack on Arkham, Jason was off world. Kate was called in to help. She was a good fighter, I’ll give her that. But she just wasn’t fast enough. I stabbed her in the stomach and left her in one of the cells. I didn’t really care if she survived or not. I had a more important mission to finish before Jason and the League came. When I came back to the cell, she was gone. But her blood was there. I followed the trail through the building, all the way to the nurses quarters. Kate was there. She was bleeding from her wound, but was still trying to save the life of one of the nurses. I have to admit that I was in much hurry, so I had been sloppy. One of the nurses had her throat cut, but was still alive. Kate had always been fierce, but that night she begged. Not for herself. No. She begged me to spare that woman’s life. She said that she didn’t care what I did to her, as long as I let the nurse live. A real hero to the end. I knocked her out, killed the nurse and was going to kill her, when Harley asked me if she could have her as a companion. I agreed. I wanted to try to free Harley from Joker’s influence, and I thought that having a companion could be good for her. So we took Kate with us. Harley nursed her back to health. She was so angry at me. But she couldn’t get out of the room she was kept in. It was my old room. The one Slade used to keep me in. And Slade had made sure that it was impossible to escape from it. Harley slipped up after three weeks, and I killed her. But I was left with Kate. Honestly, I didn’t know what to do with her. She wasn’t bad. Sure, she used to spit curses at me and was brutally honest, but I liked that about her. Wintergreen told me to let her go, and I decided that there couldn’t be anything wrong in that. But then I realized that she knew where I lived. She knew about Damian’s body. She had to go. When I came to her that day, she knew. She asked me if she could make one last call, but I couldn’t allow that. The call could be traced. But I allowed her to write three letters. So she did. To her father, Jason and Alfred. I promised her to make it quick, but she didn’t want that. She said that she didn’t want to be executed. She wanted to die fighting. Die knowing that she tried to stop me. So I took her to the training room. We fought for almost 20 minutes. She managed to stab me a few times, before I slit her throat and then drove a sword straight through her heart. I delivered the letters myself, as well as giving her body to Jason. She had gained my respect.” 

By now Hood looked ready to snap. Through gritted teeth, he hissed out:

“And Alfred?” 

“Jason moved him to the Watchtower at the same time that he moved Barbara. He was worried I would go after him. He wasn’t exactly wrong. If Alfred tried anything I would have killed him.” 

Hood pulled his gun out with one swift move, only to have his hand pushed down again by J’onn. The martian had appeared out of nowhere and was looking at him with calmness. 

“I cannot allow you to do this.” 

Hood struggled for a few seconds, before grunting in anger. 

“Alright. I won’t kill him. But better keep him out of my sight. Because I don’t promise that I won’t try again.” 

J’onn nodded and let go of Hood’s hand. The man quickly left the room, muttering angrily under his breath. J’onn turned to where Renegade was watching him with curiosity. 

“How long have you been in here?” 

“I came in a few seconds after Damian left. But your conversation seemed important, so I didn’t want to interrupt.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“I’m guessing it’s your turn to give me a talk about morals?” 

J’onn shook his head. 

“Not at all. I wish to understand why you decided to abandon your family.” 

Renegade just stared at him with disbelief in his eyes. 


	9. We Should Talk

“Why I abandoned them? I’m not the one who abandoned them. I’m the reason they are dead.” 

J’onn tilted his head. 

“I do not understand. You said that Joker killed your brothers.” 

“But why do you think Bruce didn’t try harder to save them?” 

The martian looked at him with surprise. 

“Excuse me?” 

Renegade hesitated for a few seconds before nodding and taking a step towards J’onn. 

“Why don’t you take a look? You on my earth don't like to go into people’s heads without their permission. I don’t know if you’re like that as well, so here you have the permission. Go ahead. See for yourself.” 

J’onn’s surprise seemed to deepen, before he nodded. Seconds later, he was sifting through Renegade’s memories, stopping at the right one. 

_ Dick walked into the cave with slow steps, Damian’s body held tightly in his arms. The boy had blood all over him, wounds covering him from head to toe. His suit was torn in several places. Bruce was sitting at the Batcomputer, typing quickly. Slowly, Dick walked over to one of the benches and put Damian’s body down on it. Then he kneeled down next to the bench, tears falling down his face.  _

_ “I’m so sorry Dami. It should have been me.”  _

_ He took a deep breath and turned to where Bruce was still concentrating on the computer.  _

_ “You could at least pretend to care.”  _

_ Dick’s voice was bitter and Bruce finally turned around, his eyebrows raised.  _

_ “Don’t use that tone. You sound like Jason.”  _

_ Dick flew to his feet, anger appearing on his face.  _

_ “Maybe that’s a good thing! Maybe he did the right thing! Left you! Maybe I should have taken Dami and ran!”  _

_ Bruce shrugged.  _

_ “I would have found you.”  _

_ “Why? You clearly don’t care. Your SON is dead, Bruce. Your child is dead, and you don’t even care.”  _

_ “He’s not.”  _

_ Dick frowned at him, clearly taken aback by Bruce’s calm.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ He glanced down at Damian’s body, almost as if he was expecting him to sit up and say that it was all planned. Tell him to not be stupid. When that didn’t happen, he turned back to Bruce.  _

_ “What do you mean?”  _

_ “My son isn’t dead, Dick. You’re still here.”  _

_ Dick’s eyes widened.  _

_ “What do you… Bruce! Damian is your son! And he is dead!”  _

_ Bruce just shook his head.  _

_ “This conversation is over.”  _

_ He started turning towards the computer again, when Dick grabbed his shoulder and glared down at him.  _

_ “It is not.”  _

_ His voice was almost unnaturally calm for the situation. Bruce frowned at him.  _

_ “Now you sound like Deathstroke.”  _

_ “Good. At least he can get things done.”  _

_ He tightened his hold on Bruce’s shoulder.  _

_ “Now tell me what you mean.”  _

_ The man pushed his hand away and stood up, forcing Dick to look up at him.  _

_ “You are my son, Dick. The only one I ever cared about. Do you really think that Jason was that special? That he was worthy of being Robin? No. He looked like you, and he was a way of keeping you here. Where I could keep an eye on you and make sure that you were safe. But then he started to argue with you. Push you away. So he had to go. Now, I always had my rules. I would never have killed him myself. But he was reckless. A few pushes in the right direction, and he ran straight into Joker’s trap. After that, it was way too easy to get there too late. To play a grieving father. Beat up Joker, because that was what was expected. But I miscalculated. Jason’s death drove you away. So, when Tim showed up, I was more than happy to let him stick around. Because that made you come back to the mansion, even if it was just for occasional visits. Then Damian showed up, and you seemed to adore him. But then that accident. It was unplanned. I never meant to disappear. And when I came back, I was so proud. You had become Batman. Of course I was disappointed that you had made Damian your Robin, but I could accept that. I don’t know what you saw in him, but that kid made you stay. So that was enough. But then you started talking about moving to Bludhaven again. You left, and I had to figure out how to make you come back again. So I sent Tim to where I knew Joker was holed up. Waited a few hours, and then called you. Before you got to Gotham, Tim was dead. Once again, I played the grieving father. Alfred broke down which, if I’m being honest, was not meant to happen. I didn’t think he had gotten so close to Tim. But there was an upside. You stayed to take care of him and Damian. And then Jason showed up again. I was worried that he would convince you to leave with him, but he didn’t even try. He just threatened me some, and then left. But I had noticed a change in you. You kept Damian closer to you than ever. I barely saw you without him. I found your plans to take him with you to Bludhaven, and knew that I couldn’t allow it. I couldn’t let him take you away. So I set up the fight with Joker. I made sure Damian was left alone. I made sure to go after Joker instead of helping Damian. What I did not expect was for you to kill. To break the code. But that doesn’t matter. You’re here. You’re alive. That’s what’s important.”  _

_ Dick, whose expression was getting more and more terrified, now staggered backwards, hitting the bench and falling down to the floor. Bruce moved, almost like he was trying to help him, but stopped when Dick crawled backwards.  _

_ “Stay away from me.”  _

_ He glared down at him.  _

_ “You’re blaming me. That’s ironic. Jason, Tim, Damian. Their deaths are on you. If you hadn’t left, they wouldn’t have had to die.”  _

_ “You’re sick.”  _

_ “Now you sound like Jason again.”  _

_ Moving quickly, Dick stood up, rushed over to Damian and grabbed his body into his arms. Bruce watched him with surprise.  _

_ “What are you doing?”  _

_ “I’m leaving.”  _

_ That made the man look at him with sudden anger.  _

_ “No. You’re not.”  _

_ Before he could take a step towards him, Dick pulled out one of Damian’s knives from the boy’s belt and held it up to his own throat. Seeing that, Bruce froze.  _

_ “If you really care about me, you will let me leave. Because if you don’t, I will kill myself.”  _

_ “You wouldn’t.”  _

_ “Why not? Damian is dead. Tim is dead. Jason is somewhere, doing his own thing. He doesn’t want to know me. What else do I have to live for?”  _

_ Very slowly, Bruce took a step back.  _

_ “You can go. But there is no one you can go to. I will make sure every hero and villain knows not to take you in. No one will dare to go against me.”  _

_ Dick seemed to think about it for a few seconds, before shaking his head slightly.  _

_ “There is someone who will. Someone who will laugh at your attempts to threaten everyone. Someone who could kill you if he wanted to.”  _

_ Bruce frowned, before anger appeared on his face.  _

_ “Deathstroke.”  _

_ He moved towards Dick, only to freeze when the boy pushed the knife against his throat again.  _

_ “Yeah. Deathstroke. He’ll help us. He’ll take us in.”  _

_ “Us? Damian is dead.”  _

_ “For now. I will bring him back. And you can’t stop me.”  _

_ Making sure that he kept Bruce in his sight, he backed out of the cave, walking up the stairs backwards. As soon as he was through the door to the mansion, he dropped Damian’s knife, grabbed a better hold of the boy’s body and ran. He burst out through the front door and sat down on his motorbike, holding Damian close to his body as he drove away. He knew where to find Slade. He had always known. The man had made sure of that. As he drove, one thing was sounding in his mind, again and again. ‘It was my fault.’  _

J’onn came out of the memory with terror filling his body. Renegade swayed slightly, but stayed upright. 

“Now you understand? Slade made me realize that I wasn’t at fault. That it was the Bat.” 

J’onn looked at him for a few seconds, before nodding. 

“I think I do understand. But…” 

He cut himself off. 

“I have to leave you for now.” 

And he phased out of the room. Renegade looked after him with slight surprise. Then he shrugged. He didn’t know why he had allowed the martian to see that memory. No one knew about it. Not even Jason. He rolled his eyes. His brother was still living in the fantasy world where Bruce Wayne actually had a heart. Where Bruce Wayne could care. He didn’t know what the man had told him to get Jason to forgive him, but it had clearly worked. He looked up when he heard the door opening, and his expression became cold when he noticed who it was. 

“We should talk.” 


	10. Batcave

Bruce was standing in the doorway. Renegade glanced down at his leg which had been broken. The man noticed that and shrugged. 

“Diana has a healing beam. She rarely uses it, but I think she wants me on my feet and ready to fight if you snap.” 

Renegade frowned. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“J’onn showed us that memory. Jason, your Jason, seemed too shocked to do anything, so I decided to take the opportunity to come and talk to you.” 

The mercenary glared at him. 

“There is nothing we have to talk about.” 

“Yes there is. You…” 

Bruce stopped himself and shook his head. 

“No. Maybe there is nothing to talk about. But there is something I want to show you. If, after that, you decide that you want to leave, I will not stop you.” 

Renegade looked at him with slight confusion. 

“What?” 

“If you decide that you want to stay on this earth, I will not stop you from going wherever you want. But I want to show you something first.” 

The mercenary thought about that. It was a good deal. He was still considering it. Slade’s offer had been tempting. To stay on this earth. To start over. New ground, new people, no more looking over his shoulder wherever he went. Here, Damian was still alive. Jason and Tim were alive and well. He could just stay here. But, to do that, he would have to get off the Watchtower first. He would have to get to the Zeta tubes without anyone noticing him. He looked up at Bruce. The man was watching him with a calm that he had not seen on his Bruce’s face. His Bruce had been calm, yes, but it was more of a bored calm. Indifference to what was happening around him. This Bruce seemed simply calm. Not readying himself for an attack, not trying to hold it together for the sake of others. He was just calm. 

“Why would you do that?” 

Bruce looked thoughtful for a few seconds, before shrugging. 

“I’m not sure. But something is telling me to do this. Dick would call it a gut feeling.” 

Renegade looked him up and down, before nodding. 

“Alright. I’ll come with you. After that, I’ll decide what I want to do.” 

Without a word, Bruce turned around. He walked down to the Zeta tubes, Renegade following him quickly. This was good. If Bruce got him out of the Watchtower, things would be so much easier. Without hesitation, he stepped through the portal, but he stopped in shock when he saw where he had stepped out. He was in the batcave. He looked at Bruce, but the man was already on his way to the computer. 

“Look around a bit. I’ll find what I want to show you.” 

He sat down in the chair and started typing quickly. Renegade twitched when a big dog came running towards him. The animal sniffed him a few times, before barking shortly and running back to where a cow was happily eating. Renegade’s eyes widened slightly. 

“What is that?” 

Bruce glanced at what he was looking at, and sighed. 

“The dog is named Titus. He’s Damian’s. When I was… gone, Dick and Damian got close. One day, Damian came home with a dog, and Dick decided to let him keep it. Alfred the cat was next. Damian got him as a birthday present from Selina. Bat-cow was later on. When I came back. We had a case that led us to a butcher's and Damian decided that one of the cows wanted to come home with us. I was apprehensive but, as long as he takes care of her, he can keep her.” 

He glanced at the cow again and added with a shrug. 

“She’s a good listener.” 

Renegade was shocked. This was not the behavior he had expected out of Bruce Wayne. Batman. Gotham’s Dark Knight. He looked around the cave, noticing the clothes and weapons all around it. Seeing that, Bruce started talking again. 

“Don’t mind the mess. Damian and Tim had another argument so things went flying before Alfred could calm them down.” 

Renegade glanced towards the glass cases where the suits were held. Four cases were empty, Batman’s, Nightwing’s, Red Robin’s and Robin’s. There were a few more he recognized. Barbara’s Batgirl, Kate’s Batwoman and Jason’s torn up Robin. But there were many more he didn’t recognize. Two of them looked almost mechanical, one black and yellow, the other gray and blue with wings. There was a purple and black suit with a hood and a piece to cover the mouth. Next to it was a completely black suit with a yellow bat on the chest and a cape. Before he had a chance to ask what the suits meant, the door at the top of the stairs opened and three females walked inside. He recognized one of them. Kate looked as fierce as ever, eyeing him suspiciously. He had a vague memory of the black-haired girl, but could not place it anywhere. The blonde girl was a mystery. The three of them went down the stairs and, in the way she was walking, he saw that the black-haired girl was a skilled fighter. They came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs and Kate frowned. 

“Dick?” 

Renegade shook his head, but Bruce was the one to speak up. 

“This is Renegade. He was Dick Grayson once, but circumstances pushed him into becoming a mercenary. He’s one of the guests from the other earth. Renegade, these are Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown. You already know Kate.” 

Sudden realization hit Renegade. Cain.

“I killed your father. On my earth. He threw you out of a window when he saw me. I never checked if you survived.” 

Cassandra tilted her head, before walking over to him and stretching her hand out. 

“Black Bat.” 

After slight hesitation, he grabbed her hand. 

“Renegade.” 

She smiled at him. 

“Father bad.” 

He frowned at her. 

“You can’t speak?” 

“No one ever taught her. But she’s made amazing progress in the time she’s been here.” 

Cassandra smiled at Kate’s protective tone, before turning back to Renegade. 

“Dick.” 

He shook his head. 

“No. I’m not Dick Grayson. He’s dead. My name is Renegade.” 

She seemed thoughtful for a few seconds, most probably looking for the words she didn’t have. 

“Renegade easy.” 

He looked at her with slight surprise, before nodding. 

“Yeah. Being Renegade is easier.” 

“No pain.” 

Once again, he nodded, before moving his attention to the other two. Seeing that, Cassandra skipped over to Bruce and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He patted the hand she had put on his shoulder a few times and then went back to typing. Visibly satisfied with that, Cassandra continued on to where Titus was already waiting for her. Renegade hid his shock at the display of affection from Bruce’s side. Instead, he turned to Stephanie. 

“Who are you?” 

“Daughter of Cluemaster.” 

Renegade tilted his head. 

“He was in Arkham when I attacked.” 

“You killed him?” 

He nodded. Stephanie seemed to think about it, before shrugging. 

“Not my earth, not my problem. Don’t know if I would care much if it happened on my earth either.” 

She walked past him, to where Cassandra was cuddling with Titus. Kate frowned. 

“Let me guess. You killed someone in my family?” 

Renegade smirked. 

“You could say that. I killed Bruce. I killed you.” 

“Did I put up a good fight?” 

He nodded. 

“To your last breath.” 

“Good. Can’t make your work easy.” 

She was going to say something more, when the door opened again and three people came inside. Barbara wheeled in, stopping at the top of the stairs. Behind her, were two young men. They lifted her chair from both sides and carried it down, where they put it back on the ground again. Barbara smiled at them, before turning to Bruce. 

“I saw the footage from the Watchtower. Every word he said.” 

Bruce nodded, turning away from the screen again. 

“I suspected that. Renegade, these are Luke Fox and Duke Thomas. Boys, this is Renegade.” 

“He’s the one from the other earth that Babs has been talking about?” 

Bruce nodded and opened his mouth, only to be cut off by a sharp signal echoing in the cave. He punched a button on the table and Gordon’s voice sounded in the cave. 

“Batman. We have a riot in Arkham. We need you here now.”

Immediately, he stood up. 

“Suit up. Everyone. Barbara, would you mind staying with Renegade until I get back?” 

She shook her head, while the others ran to their suits. Ten minutes later, they had all left. Barbara looked around the cave and sighed, before wheeling closer to the stairs again. 

“Mind helping me out?” 

He frowned at her. 

“I can’t get up the stairs on my own. B hasn’t gotten around to installing an elevator or ramp yet. And, unless you want to end up with bat shit on your head, I’d suggest we move into the mansion.” 

He looked at her with hesitation, before walking over and lifting her out of the chair. He carried her upstairs and put her on the floor, before going down again to fetch the wheelchair. He put her back in it and followed her as she led him through the house, to the living room. It was different from what he remembered. More cozy. Barbara pointed at one of the armchairs and he sat down. She wheeled closer to him, having produced a book from somewhere. 

“You know, I love taking pictures of my family.” 

She opened the book, which turned out to be an album, and Renegade almost groaned. Most probably sensing it, the woman gave him a glare. She flipped through the photos, before stopping at one. 

“This one is from Damian’s first time telling a joke. He really did his best. This one is from the time Jay and Tim painted Steph’s hair purple. She rocked it for a month, before the color faded. This one is Bruce when he fell asleep at the tv and Dick and Jay decided to paint a mustache on him. He refused to go to work that day, and didn’t go out as Batman until he managed to clean it off. He did get his revenge though. Convinced Tim and Duke to put cooking oil in Dick’s shampoo. I thought he would have a heart attack when he couldn’t wash it out. And here are Kate and Selina baking with Alfred. And this one is of Bruce, right after Cass called him ‘dad’ the first time.” 

Renegade’s head snapped up to her from the picture he had been looking at. On it, Bruce was looking at Cassandra with pure shock and happiness on his face. 

“What?” 

“Well, it was a big deal. Dick and Tim call him ‘dad’ from time to time. Jay did it when he was younger, but stopped after he came back. Duke can’t even think about calling him anything other than Bruce or Batman, even though I know he sees him as a father figure. Kate is his cousin. Damian calls him ‘father’. Steph and B didn’t get off on the right foot, so she calls him Bruce. Me and Luke have fathers. But we didn’t know how Cass would be once she started speaking. Dad was her first word. I think she wanted it to be her first word.” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“I don’t understand. He’s so different.” 

Barbara looked at him with a frown. 

“Well, I don’t know what Bruce is like on your earth. I’m guessing it was in the memory that J’onn showed everyone. But I know that our Bruce is a good person. A good father. Sure, he makes mistakes. Sometimes, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. But he’s taken us all in without question. He’s given us all a new beginning. In return, we give him love and support, especially when he thinks he needs it the least. And maybe that’s what’s important in this life. Helping someone. Having someone in your life that you care about. Someone who cares about you.” 

“I have Damian.” 

She shook her head, her voice softening slightly. 

“Damian is dead. And if you bring him back, it won’t be Damian anymore. Not the Damian you know. I think you know that. You can’t live in the past. What you did, what you’re still doing. It’s not only wrong. It’s destroying you. And if you, by some miracle, bring Damian back the way he was before, he will not recognize you. You want to give him a safe world. And I understand that. If Dick had the chance to make this world safe for Damian, he would do anything to accomplish that. But there is one thing you don’t understand. To Damian, you are the world. You’re his brother, father, mother, mentor, Batman. You’re whatever he needs you to be at that moment. He looks up to you, respects you. He loves you, even if he himself doesn’t understand that. You destroying yourself, will destroy Damian’s world.” 

Renegade lowered his head slightly, his eyes catching Cass’ smiling face again. 

“Can you leave me alone for a few minutes?” 

She looked at him with calculation, before nodding. 

“Of course. I’ll be in the kitchen with Alfred. When you’re ready, come and find us.” 

And she wheeled out of the room. 


	11. A Deal

Renegade was still sitting in the living room, when the door opened and Barbara wheeled back inside, Oliver following her. When he glanced at the clock, he noticed that he had been sitting in silence for almost 20 minutes. Seeing the archer’s expression, he stood up and put the photo album on the couch. 

“Is something wrong?” 

Oliver frowned at the album, but didn’t comment when he noticed Renegade’s glare. 

“Not really. The people on your earth managed to open a portal and keep it steady enough to pass through. A man came through. He said that he isn’t sure how long they will be able to keep the portal open, so you and Jason need to go now.” 

Renegade nodded, his expression calm again. Barbara smiled slightly. 

“Just think about what I said, alright?” 

He glanced at her, nodded and then turned back to Oliver. 

“Lead the way.” 

The archer looked down at Barbara. 

“Renegade, you know the way back to the cave. I can’t get down the stairs.” 

Oliver waited until Renegade nodded and then turned to the door. 

“Alright. Come on. Let’s move.” 

He walked out of the room, Renegade following him without a word. They went to the cave, Renegade stopping Oliver with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Before we go, is there anything I should be worried about?” 

Oliver frowned, so he explained. 

“When I step through the Zeta tube, will I get attacked? Because I’ve pissed off many people on my earth.” 

The archer shrugged. 

“Honestly? I have no idea.” 

Renegade nodded, and then they both stepped through the Zeta tube. As soon as they stepped out of it, Renegade pulled his swords up, raising them in a defensive position. He looked around the room, his swords lowering when he noticed the newcomer. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” 

The man, who was leaning against a wall, took a few steps towards Renegade, a smirk on his face. 

“Nice to see you too, Grayson. I heard you went off the deep end. I was slightly surprised that you never came for me.” 

Renegade snorted. 

“I’m not suicidal.” 

The man raised his eyebrows. 

“Are you sure? You’ve pissed off some very powerful people.” 

“I’ll ask again. What the hell are you doing here, Midnighter?” 

Midnigher just kept smirking. 

“Drop the tone, kid. We both know that this is a fight you wouldn’t win.” 

“I might still take my chances.” 

“I would have thought Slade has trained you better.” 

Renegade’s grip on the swords tightened, before he shook his head and put them back in their sheaths again. 

“You’re right. He did train me better.” 

Then he turned to Jason. 

“What is he doing here?” 

Midnighter rolled his eyes. 

“To answer your question, I’m the one who opened the portal. I opened a door and that purple haired witch used her magic to make it possible to travel to other earths. But I’m not sure how long this will work, and I would rather not get stuck here.” 

Dick, who had been keeping quiet with a thoughtful expression on his face, now took a step towards Midnighter. 

“Wait a second. I don’t get it. If your Bruce made sure you stayed close to Gotham at all times, how did you meet M? I didn’t meet him until my ‘death’ and work with Spyral.” 

When he mentioned his ‘death’, the other three bats and Wally glared at him. Quickly, he raised his hands up in surrender. 

“I already apologized for that!” 

Then he turned to Midnighter, most probably wanting to redirect the attention away from himself. 

“At one point, Grayson thought that Wayne was way too controlling. So he ran away. Started spiralling. I ran into him in a back alley, and the idiot tried to take me down. I won over him and we started talking. After he told me everything, I let him stay with me for a few days, before he decided to head back to Gotham. We kept in contact after that, until he suddenly disappeared. I tried contacting Wayne, but found out that he was dead. So I just left it at that. About a week ago, Jason contacted me. Explained what had happened to Grayson, and that Grayson had told him about me once. They figured that I would be their only shot at stopping him.” 

While the others were taking in the information, Renegade seemed stuck on something. All of the sudden, he pulled out a knife and started advancing towards Jason, only to freeze when Midnighter simply stepped between them. He glared at his brother. 

“You dragged Raven into this?” 

There was anger in his voice, but a few of the heroes who were listening closely, also noticed worry and hesitance. 

“I had to get people who would win over you because, if I’m being honest, I don’t think I can. You’ve been trained too well. Raven and Midnighter were the only people I could think of.” 

Very slowly, Renegade nodded. 

“I see.” 

Then he turned to the portal. 

“I guess this is it.” 

Jason stepped a bit closer to him, ignoring the way Midnighter shifted slightly. 

“Once we go through that portal, will you try to kill us?” 

Renegade snorted. 

“I couldn’t even dream about beating Midnighter on a good day. Throw in Raven in the fight, and I’m dead before the fight starts. Midnighter is right. Slade trained me too well. I know when I’m defeated.” 

Jason looked at him with surprise. 

“Wait, what? You’re just giving up?” 

“I didn’t say that. I have a deal for you. But why don’t we take it on our earth, huh? This is between you and me. They don’t have to hear it.” 

Jason hesitated, not knowing what to say. It was clear that this was not what he had been expecting. He exchanged a look with Midnighter, who just shrugged. 

“I say let’s do this. He tries something, and we’ll take him down.” 

He turned to Renegade, looking him straight in the eyes. 

“Permanently.” 

The mercenary nodded at him, a small smirk appearing on his face. 

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.” 

Jason, visibly still confused, turned to the League. 

“Thanks for letting us stay here and not freaking out. And sorry for what you had to hear about.” 

And with that, he stepped through the portal. Midnigher nodded towards Renegade. 

“You next.” 

The mercenary glanced back towards Damian, an odd look on his face. 

“Be careful, kid. Promise me that.” 

Damian nodded. 

“I promise.” 

Renegade kept looking at him for a few seconds, before pulling his mask on and stepping through the portal. He came out in his own house, the sight before him making him freeze. J’onn and M’gann were sitting against the wall, clearly exhausted. Raven was standing with her hands out towards the portal, her eyes glowing. Jason was close to her, almost as if he wanted to protect her. Renegade almost snorted. As if Raven needed any help. On the bed, in the middle of the room, was Damian’s body. The bed was encased in a glass box, in which the conditions were so perfect that Damian’s body was in a perfect state. It looked almost like he was sleeping. Midnighter stepped out of the portal seconds later, and Raven lowered her hands, the glow in her eyes disappearing. As soon as her power was gone from the portal, Midnighter closed it. 

“Now what?” 

Renegade turned to Jason. The Bat lifted his eyebrows. 

“You said that you had a deal for me.” 

Without a word, the mercenary walked over to the bed and pulled off his glove. Jason and Raven both almost gasped at the ugly scar on his hand. Noticing their reaction, he glanced at his hand and shrugged. 

“Slade pinned me with his sword through my hand once. I had to pull it out myself and couldn’t keep it steady.” 

He shrugged again, just as the glass recognized his palm print and slid into the floor. Renegade crouched down next to the bed and pulled his fingers through the boy’s hair. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.” 

Then he stood up abruptly, turning away from Damian, his face once again becoming emotionless. 

“Here’s the deal. You let me get out of here today, without a fight. In return I will let you keep the martians. I will not go after any more heroes, but will still be hunting down villains. I will leave the smaller criminals to Batman. In return I want you to stop following me. Stop trying to change me, because that won’t happen. That’s the deal I have for you.” 

Jason hesitated. 

“I’m not sure what the rest of the League will…” 

“I’m not talking to the League. I’m talking to Batman. And that’s the only person I will be willing to talk to. I might not actively go against any of you heroes, but if one or more of you attack me, I will kill in self defense.” 

Before Jason could say anything, J’onn spoke up. 

“Jason. I would take the deal. This is the closest we have come to peace. I think the world will appreciate it.” 

Jason looked at him for a moment, before turning back to Renegade. 

“What about Damian?” 

The mercenary froze, before forcing himself to relax again. 

“I’ll let you take him. Bury him next to Selina and Kate. He would have wanted that.” 

He tilted his head. 

“Do we have a deal?” 

Jason frowned. 

“No more killing of innocents. And if you get in the Leagues way, we will deal with you. Just like we would have dealt with Deathstroke.” 

Renegade nodded. 

“I understand.” 

“Then get out of here. Wintergreen wasn’t here when we arrived, so I’m not sure where he is.” 

The mercenary smirked. 

“Billy lived with Slade. He knows when to get out of a situation. When he won’t be able to win. I’ll find him.” 

He started heading towards the door, when Raven stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He turned to her and she tilted her head. 

“I won’t ask you why you did this. And I will not judge you. Just like you never judged me. I know you don’t believe that, but I know that there is still a part inside of you that is Dick Grayson. Maybe you’ll find it one day. Maybe not. But know that you can always talk to me. You were there for me, even when I was against you. Even when I hurt the people you cared about. Now I will be there for you.” 

He looked at her with surprise, before nodding. 

“I understand. I won’t say that I’m sorry, because that would be a lie. But I understand.” 

She smiled slightly. 

“Where are you going to go now?” 

A determined look appeared on his face. 

“I have to find someone. Someone to…” 

He stopped and shook his head. 

“There is someone I have to find.” 

And with that, he marched out of the room, making sure to not look at Damian’s body. 


	12. Thank You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter in Can't Find My Way Home. But this is not the end for these characters. In my next story: We're Still Here, some of the characters will return. And there will be more information about how things were for them after this story. So be on a lookout for We're Still Here. It will be posted as another part in this series: Road to Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Bruce, Damian and Barbara were in the Batcave, when a portal suddenly opened in the middle of it. All three turned towards it with surprise. Ever since Jason and Renegade went back to their earth, seven months earlier, there was no contact from them. A few seconds later, Jason stepped through the portal, dressed casually. He grinned when he saw Bruce and hurried over to him. 

“Hi! It’s been a while, right?” 

Bruce nodded, a frown on his face. 

“You’re awfully happy.” 

Jason shrugged, as he was walking over to Babs. He leaned down and pulled her into a hug. The woman hugged him back with slight surprise. He stood up again and turned to Damian, but stopped when the boy glared at him. 

“Don’t even think about it, Todd.” 

He shrugged and took a few steps back. 

“I have every reason to be happy. We just managed to figure out travel between earths and I decided to pop by and give you guys some updates.” 

Bruce nodded. 

“Well. First of all, Ren has calmed down. He’s still killing from time to time, but he’s gone from a mad killer to a paid mercenary. He’s pretty much like Deathstroke now. He hasn’t caused us any more trouble. We’re still trying to catch him, especially Diana. She wants to see him punished for what he did. Especially after she found out that he killed Oliver and Barry. She swore to take him down. We’ve managed to get together enough heroes to form Justice League again. Kara stepped up in Clark’s place. J’onn and Miss M are our resident telepaths. Diana, of course. Cyborg joined up too. We’ve managed to convince Midnighter and Raven to be part time members. Beast Boy has formed the New Titans along with Starfire. I’m not sure about the members, but I know that Donna has been helping out from time to time. All in all, we’re doing well.” 

Barbara smiled. 

“That’s wonderful to hear.” 

She glanced at Damian, before turning to Jason again. 

“What did Renegade do with Damian’s body?” 

Jason’s smile dimmed a bit. 

“He gave it to us. We buried him next to Selina.”

Damian nodded. 

“Good.” 

Bruce looked at the clothes Jason was wearing, a slight frown on his face. 

“Are you still Batman?” 

Jason nodded. 

“Yeah. What Bruce did to Dick was terrible, but it doesn’t define Batman. What Batman stands for. And, as Ren said, Gotham needs Batman.” 

Suddenly, the portal behind him flickered and his eyes widened. 

“Crap. Maybe it’s not as steady as we thought it was.” 

Quickly, he pulled out a small device and stretched it out to Bruce. The man grabbed it with a frown. 

“What…?” 

“Renegade told me he knows I planned to go here, so he gave this to me. Said that he wants you to have it. That you have to connect it to the Batcomputer.” 

He looked at the portal again, worry clear on his face. 

“I have to go. But thank you. For everything. I don’t know what you told Ren when you took him here, but it worked.” 

Then he turned around and rushed through the portal. It closed just seconds later. Bruce looked after him for a moment, before walking over to the Batcomputer and plugging in the device. The entire screen went black for a few seconds. Then, all of the sudden, an image appeared on it. Barbara and Damian moved closer when they realized that it was a video call. On the screen, Renegade grinned. 

“Knew it would work.” 

He was dressed in a t-shirt and black jeans. Barbara’s eyes widened when she noticed all the scars on his bare arms and neck. Some of them looked like gunshot wounds, some were clear stab wounds. There were a few that looked like burns, and a long scar that ran from the side of his neck down to his elbow. Bruce collected himself quickest and sat down in the chair. 

“How is this possible?” 

Renegade’s grin got bigger. 

“I combined some of Slade’s old technology, my own research and whatever I could steal from the League’s servers. Jason keeps forgetting that I helped design the security of the Watchtower.” 

He leaned back in his seat, clearly relaxed. He glanced at Damian, but turned away quickly, shaking his head slightly. Bruce frowned at that. 

“Are you alright?” 

The mercenary nodded. 

“Yeah. Me and Jason have come to an understanding, and I have to admit that it’s nice to not have to look over my shoulder all the time.” 

He frowned and looked at something off screen. Before he could react to whatever it was, a door opened and two girls rushed inside. The three bats' eyes widened when they noticed that it was Cass and Steph. Cass ran across the room and threw herself at Renegade, the mercenary grabbing her almost instinctively. She curled up into his chest, crying heavily. He hesitated, before putting his arms around her and looking up at Steph, the video call clearly forgotten. 

“What the hell happened?” 

Stephanie looked at him, clearly shaken. 

“We were waiting for the bus, when Jon said that he was hearing some animals crying. So he grabbed us and flew us to a park, where we found a cardboard box with five puppies inside. Three were dead. One had the throat slit, but was still alive. One, the smallest one, was hidden under the others so, whoever did it, didn’t notice it. We grabbed the box and Jon flew us here. We figured that, since Billy always patches you up, maybe he could help us. He started taking care of the puppy, when Cass suddenly just broke down and ran out of there. We left Jon with Billy and the puppies and I followed her here.” 

Renegade frowned, his arms tightening slightly around Cass. 

“You brought Kent here?” 

Steph raised her eyebrows. 

“So what?” 

Renegade leaned forward a bit, making sure to not dislodge Cass from his lap. 

“Do I have to remind you that I killed his father?” 

“That seems like a ‘you’ problem.” 

The mercenary tensed up, anger appearing in his eyes. He stood up, put Cass in his seat and took a step towards Steph. The girl stood her ground, but it was clear that she was getting worried. Before anyone could say anything, the door opened and Billy Wintergreen stepped inside. His hands were covered in blood. Immediately, Cass flew up from the seat and ran over to him. 

“Puppy? Fine?” 

He nodded at her, giving her a reassuring smile. 

“Yes, dear. She’ll be fine. I managed to stitch her up. The other puppy is healthy, but hungry. I prepared some milk and a bottle for him. You can go feed him now.” 

She smiled through her tears and ran out of the room. Billy turned towards Steph. 

“Go with her. I put the dead puppies in a shoe box. You can bury them in the garden behind the house.” 

She nodded, gave Renegade one last glare and stormed out of the room. Billy sighed heavily, before turning to the mercenary. 

“You have to calm down.” 

“She needs to…” 

“No. You need to CALM DOWN. You’re starting to act like Slade.” 

He took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“Ren, you have to understand. Cass has been here for almost seven months. Steph joined up a month ago. She’s still testing the waters. Seeing how far she can push before you snap. You were just like her in the beginning. You kept pushing Slade at any opportunity you got. And you know how he reacted. Do you want to be like that?” 

Very slowly, Renegade nodded. 

“You’re right.” 

Then he frowned. 

“Where is Kent? I would rather not have a vengeful kryptonian running around the house.” 

“I sent him away. Told him the girls would tell him about the puppies tomorrow.” 

He glanced down at the blood on his hands. 

“I’m going to go wash this off.” 

Renegade nodded again. 

“Try to get the prints off the box. See if we can’t find out who did this. Steph needs to burn off some of that anger of hers. I’ll go with her. You stay with Cass.” 

Billy kept looking at him for a few seconds, before turning around and walking out of the room. Renegade sighed heavily, before seemingly remembering the video call. He turned to the screen, frowning when he saw the surprised looks on Barbara’s and Damian’s faces. 

“Sorry about that.” 

He sat down in the chair again, taking a deep breath. 

“Steph isn’t as used to living here as Cass.” 

Barbara frowned. 

“How come they live with you?” 

Renegade thought about that for a few seconds, before seemingly deciding to tell the truth. 

“I remembered what you said. About finding someone to care about. I realized that I had been so hung up on bringing Damian back, that I lost sight of what was going on around me. I don’t regret what I did. The world is much safer because of that. But I realized that I didn’t have to keep going like I have. I didn’t have to be alone. I remembered when I killed Cass’ father, he threw her out the window. As I have said before, I didn’t know if she had survived. So, I decided to try to find her when I got back to my earth. I did. She was living on the streets, stealing food and fighting. I took her in. Slade had an account set up for Rose, so I used that money to make sure that she had new clothes, a room she liked. In the beginning, she was incredibly suspicious. She remembered me. But then she started to warm up a bit to me. I tried to not treat her the way Bruce treated me. Or the way Slade did either. It took us some time, but now we have a rhythm that we follow. Steph on the other hand, is still not used to this. Cass found her out on the streets a month ago, and dragged her back here. She decided to stay, since here she doesn’t have to fight for food and place to sleep. And she’s very protective of Cass. I enrolled them in a school in Gotham. Sadly, Clark’s son goes to the same school. Jason decided to let Lois and the kid move into the mansion to keep them safe from me. Not that they were ever on my list. And, with the new agreement I have with Batman, I wouldn’t even try going after them.” 

Damian, who had been thinking about something very hard, suddenly spoke up. 

“Are you going to punish the person who hurt those puppies?” 

Renegade looked at him, a small grin on his face. 

“I’m not going to do anything Batman can prove I did.” 

Then he nodded. 

“But yeah, I will make him or her suffer. Everyone, even Batman, knows that if anyone makes Cass upset, they will answer to me. And, most likely, not survive the night.” 

Barbara wanted to say something, but stopped when she saw the thoughtful look on Bruce’s face. She frowned, before turning to Damian. 

“Damian? Can you come with me to the kitchen? Dick and Wally will be here in an hour, and I’m sure Alfred will appreciate the help with making food for them.” 

Damian looked ready to protest, but one glance at Bruce’s face made him nod quickly. He followed the woman to the elevator, and they both disappeared. Renegade frowned. 

“That was smooth.” 

Then he tilted his head. 

“What is it? Are you going to lecture me about killing people? Because if you are, then you can give up before you even start.” 

Bruce shook his head. 

“No, I…” 

He paused, clearly looking for the right words. Renegade waited in silence. 

“I admire you. The fact that you could stop. I don’t think I could.” 

Renegade’s face showed pure shock. 

“What? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You’ve never killed.” 

Bruce nodded. 

“I know. I haven’t. But that doesn’t mean I never thought about it.” 

He leaned back in the chair, meeting Renegade’s eyes through the camera. 

“After Jason died. I tell everyone that I wanted to hang up the cowl. But that wasn’t my first thought. I wanted to hunt down Joker. I wanted to kill him. Make him suffer for what he did, and then get rid of him. But I knew that if I did that, I wouldn’t be able to stop. I would be like you. Killing everyone I thought needed to be punished. And I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself.”

They sat in silence for almost two minutes, just looking at each other. In the end, Renegade took a deep breath and leaned a bit closer to the camera. 

“Bruce. What I’ve done is different. If Jason’s death would have made you kill Joker, you would have been able to stop yourself. You would have killed the monster who killed your child. But you would still be yourself. You would still be Bruce Wayne. Still be Batman. Me, I’m not who I was back then. I decided to let go of Dick Grayson. A part of him is still in me. It’s the part that made me sick after I killed Wally. The part that stopped me from killing Jason every time I had a chance. The part that made me give Superman, Wally, Roy and Conner a chance to get out of my way. But I’m not Dick Grayson anymore. Slade killed him. I killed him. I chose to go down this path. To lose myself in the blood and violence. I surrounded myself with death, because I didn’t believe in life anymore. I didn’t want to feel anymore. I couldn’t believe people anymore, because the one person I had trusted the most betrayed me. You? Even if you did cross that line, you would still have people to pull you back. Dick, Barbara, Clark, Alfred.” 

He paused, hesitating. When he spoke up again, his voice was calm. 

“I lied to you.” 

Bruce, who had been shocked by the mercenary's words, now frowned. 

“What?” 

“Back on the Watchtower. You asked me what I felt when I killed Bruce on my earth.” 

Bruce nodded. 

“I told you I felt nothing. I lied.” 

He leaned back again. 

“I felt every blow. Every cut. Bruce might’ve destroyed my life, but I couldn’t stop caring about him. That little part of me that was still Dick Grayson, started rebelling. Maybe that’s why Slade tried to step in. Maybe he could see what was really happening to me.” 

Renegade shook his head. 

“What I’m trying to say, is that even I hesitated. Even I knew that I should stop. And my morals had been beaten out of me by Slade. I had no one to pull me back from that ledge. You have people close to you, Bruce. You have family.” 

Once again, they sat in silence, neither man knowing what more to say. Then, Bruce sighed. 

“You’ll take care of them, right?” 

Renegade nodded. 

“Of course.” 

Then he smirked slightly. 

“I think I’m starting to understand what you have it like in the cave.” 

Bruce frowned. 

“Cass. She’s been bringing home injured animals, patching them up and then letting them stay. I’m pretty sure we have a skunk somewhere in the basement, a deer that likes to steal my breakfast, and at least ten cats and three dogs. And that parrot that barely lets me sleep. Not to mention all the wild animals that come to our back yard to get fed. But they keep her happy, so I’m not complaining.” 

His smile softened slightly. 

“She reminds me of Damian.” 

Then he shook his head and stood up. 

“I’ll have to leave now. Me and Steph have an animal abuser to torture and kill. If you go through the files on the device I left you, you will find all my research about travel between earths. Maybe you could make it work in a bit more steady form than what the League has managed to do.” 

He leaned towards the screen, most probably to end the call, but hesitated with his hand stretched out. He looked at the screen for a few seconds. When he spoke up, his voice was as soft as it could get with its raspiness. 

“Thank you, Bruce.” 

Then he ended the call, leaving a shocked Bruce staring at the screen. 

“Well, that’s a start.” 

He looked backwards and frowned at Dick. 

“How long have you been here? And how did I not hear you?” 

The young man shrugged. 

“Slade trained me to be soundless. Even more soundless than you. It sometimes kicks in.” 

And, seeing Bruce’s expression, he rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t worry. It’s just training. I’m not going to turn into Renegade.” 

The ‘not unless I have to’ was left unsaid. After a few seconds, Bruce grabbed Renegade’s device and stretched it out towards Dick. 

“Think you can figure this out?” 

Dick grabbed it. 

“Travel between earths? I’ll see what me, Babs and Tim can come up with.” 

He turned around to leave, before stopping and looking over his shoulder. 

“He was right, you know?” 

Bruce frowned. 

“You have family, Bruce. You’re always there for us. Let us be there for you from time to time.” 

He walked over to the door, and stopped again. 

“Thank you, Bruce.” 

And he left, Bruce once again shocked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this. I'm so happy that all of you enjoyed my work and were so nice and supportive in the comments. I hope I will see you all in We're Still Here.


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